We are receiving down the

before the first time.

And, uh,

receiving this message.

We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick.

We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past,

the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge. These recordings represent our attempt to

compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost. So whether you're

listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology

to decrypt our transmissions, this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus.

This is the omnibus. You have accessed and You have accessed entry 1026.J.J.4132. Certificate number 50176. Radioactive boy.

Were you the kind of child that when you got inevitably books on magic and chemistry sets

because we're just old enough that people still gave chemistry sets as presents.

I certainly got one. Yeah, is that not a thing anymore? Can you not buy a chemistry set? I bet you can, but it doesn't seem like a thing that some grown up would be like, well, I've got an eight-year-old boy to buy a present for. Like, what do I get them, a chemistry set? It does, it did seem like a little old time even in our era.

It was the kind of unbranded toy you would read about. like get a chemistry set? It does, it did seem like a little old time, even in our era.

You know, it was the kind of unbranded toy you would read about in books of like, you know,

kids opening a wooden rocking horse on Christmas, but when I was a kid, we wanted toys

with capital letters. You wanted Lego and you write Star Wars. Right. And you wanted G.I. Joe.

But there were chemistry sets in stores, right? Yeah. And you wanted G.I. Joe.

...