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Produced by the I-Leb, at WBUR Boston.

From The New York Times and WBUR Boston, this is Modern Love.

The New York Times

Stories of Love, Laws, and Redemption

I'm your host, Megna Chacrabardi.

Right now, we are watching extraordinary protests around the world against police violence and racism.

And once again, in the United States, as a country, we are having a conversation about what it means to be black in America.

So today, we wanted to return to an essay that's also part of that conversation.

It's by Kim McLaren, and it's called Race Wasn't An Issue To Him, which was an issue to me.

After the essay, we'll hear from Kim.

We first talked to her in 2019, and we reconnected with her on Monday to hear how she's doing right now.

But first, here's Lorraine Tussant, who stars in the upcoming film The Glorious, Lorraine's reading Kim's essay.

His name was Jerry, a nice man, late 40s, funny and smart, divorced with two grown children, the social worker who had dedicated his professional life to working with troubled kids.

He was also, let's be honest, the first to come around.

He was the first man after my own divorce to raise an eyebrow to take an interest after my ex not only moved out, but moved on.

Funny and smart and dedicated to troubled kids is all admirable, but in truth, I would have said yes to a drink with a four-foot gap tooth troll had one smile in my direction.

The self-confidence of a 40-year-old divorced mother of two is a shaggy thing.

So, the fact that Jerry was also white, I noted, but decided to file away for now. Why worry about it right out of the gate?

Yes, race had been an issue in my marriage, not the issue perhaps, but an issue nonetheless.

What I did not know was whether race arose as a problem because I am black and my ex is white, or because I am a person who grapples with race, and he is not.

That my ex does not grapple with race, he would not dispute.

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