Rabbi Steve Leder: Don’t Come Out Empty Handed

Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

Everything Happens Studios

Health & Fitness, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture

4.8 • 4.7K Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2023

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How should you show up for people in grief? What do you say? What should you do? Why is it that beauty can exist alongside deep suffering? What can be said at funerals when the person who died was complicated? These are just a few of the questions I wanted to ask Steve Leder—a bestselling author and a rabbi who has presided over a thousand funerals with wisdom and kindness. In this conversation, we discuss: The mysterious way beauty can be found the closer we inch to death (our own or someone else’s). The importance of just showing up. And being you. Honoring someone’s memory at the same time being truthful about how human they were The peace that comes from acknowledging that life is full of dualities “If you have to go through hell, don’t come out empty handed” (Steve Leder), but no, the lessons were never, ever worth the pain CW: suicide, adult language *** Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here. Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter. THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here. We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started. Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Oh hello, my name is Kate Boller and this is Everything Happens.
0:06.9	My very favorite thing about this community is that we are a people who don't do cliches.
0:14.4	We just don't. We have, we are opting out of things that seem wise on t-shirts and coffee mugs.
0:23.3	We're just, we're care-worn. And so many of us have experienced pain and suffering in some
0:31.5	intense way, whether it was expected or unexpected, because no, the at least you knew it was coming,
0:40.0	doesn't always help. We may have had the experience of being bludgeoned by other people's well-intentioned,
0:47.6	but often cruel ways of explaining away our pain. No, Sheila, God didn't need another angel.
0:54.8	Okay, well, maybe we don't say that to her face, but at least we whisper it under our breath as she
1:00.0	walks away. But we just get it. That this is a community who needs thicker language, better,
1:10.2	lovelier, more delicate language. And we need people capable of living in uncertainty alongside us.
1:19.3	And so I thought today we could talk a little bit about complicated grief and how to show up for
1:26.1	other people, what to say, what to do, what it feels like, being so cracked open to the pain of others.
1:36.1	And then how sometimes in this strange alchemy, beauty and truth and courage can and does
1:45.2	coexist alongside our suffering and deep grief and those of others. And that is a delicate argument
1:54.9	that my guest knows so well, because he's a rabbi and he is kind and wise and he has
2:04.1	presided over a thousand funerals with wisdom. So meet my new friend, Steve.
2:12.4	Steve Leiter is the senior rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles. And he is the
2:18.4	author of gorgeous bestselling books like The Beauty of What Remains and For You when I'm Gone.
2:26.2	Twelve essential questions to tell a life story. And I've heard about him for a
2:29.8	bajillion years before this fateful moment. Oh my word, rabbi. Thank you so much for doing this
2:35.2	with me today. It's really my honor, Kate. I'm looking forward to our conversation.
2:41.3	I read, of course, as one does all of your work and preparation to meet you. And I was so grateful
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Everything Happens Studios, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Everything Happens Studios and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.