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Welcome to R slash today I effed up, where OP accidentally loses his own testicle.

Today I effed up by scratching my balls, falling asleep,

and then having to have my testicles surgically removed. I was relaxing in my living room while

my parents were out. I had just pulled an all-nighter to finish my paper, and I was watching TV

and browsing random junk on my phone to relax when I had a small itch on my

testicles. I went downtown to scrotum town to give the crown jewels a scratch, and in my unfocused

state, I missed slightly and scratched down the back of that tube-like thing that's attached

to your balls, which I later learned is called the epididymus. This made me flinch

slightly, as the sensation on my jublies was completely unexpected. I didn't think about it, though.

I scratched the itch in the correct place and carried on watching TV. Within about half an hour,

though, my lack of sleep started to catch up on me, very suddenly, and I felt myself drifting off to sleep

at about 2 p.m. I woke up at 2.45 to a numbing, sort of dull ache on my left penny in my coin purse.

I thought nothing of it, and hoisted myself upright to drink water, and then went back to sleep.

I woke up a little later, completely keeled

over in the fetal position with my arms between my legs. I don't remember waking up, but I was

in this incredible pain, like I'd snapped a muscle in my balls. I can't really describe it,

...