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Welcome to R slash Today I Fept Up, where OP creates a dog-dudu catapult.

Today I effed up when I was 11 by accidentally carpet bombing my neighbor's backyard party with dog do. My grandfather loved his three big

Labradors. I think he loved them more than his family. But the old guy fed them the cheapest

garbage dog food on earth. The kind that made their

turds turn white when they dried. The result of this food was nuclear-level dog parts and

turds the size of small loaves of bread. When I was 11, he made it my chore to clean up the poop and mow the

lawn. I figured I could save time by just mowing over the piles of dog dew. Turns out when you

mow over big, fresh dog turts, they turn into a moist brown mist. The first time they saw me do this,

my grandparents put a stop to it. So I invented a solution, the do-do catapult, which was literally

my grandmother's spatula from her kitchen drawer. On shore day, I'd wait for my grandparents to leave

the house. Then I'd get to work. I'd go outside, fling the dog's giant turds over the fence and

onto the neighbor's roof. Perfect day. Sorry. Perfect aim. Pure roof every time.

They were jerks anyway, so I didn't feel bad.

One day, after I'd skipped my chores for several weeks, my grandfather got mad and made me get to work.

There were several weeks of poop from three big dogs.

It was gross.

I was in a huge hurry.

My grandparents had left, and my friends were waiting out on the street for me. I was in a huge hurry. My grandparents had left and my friends were

waiting out on the street for me. I didn't check if the neighbors were home, nor did I check my aim.

...