Welcome to R-Slashted.iF.dub, where OP's father buys him an adult worker.

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to get started. I'm a 20 year old man, and today I f'd up by telling my dad that I've never

passionately hugged. A few days ago, I decided to visit my dad at his house.

It was his birthday. I showed up with wine. We got a little drunk. Maybe more than a little.

And my dad was going on and on about how much he missed my mom since she divorced him.

He changed the subject and focused on my love life. He asked if I had a girlfriend, and I said no.

Then he asked if I'd ever had a girlfriend because he's never seen me with a girl. I said never.

My dad poured the last drop of wine in my glass and asked if I was still a virgin. I was tempted to lie,

but I paused too long, so I said yes. My dad said that I had no reason to feel ashamed of my

virginity, but encouraged me to have as much passionate hugging as possible before I end up

married to a person whose lady parts come with an impenetrable encryption. I ignored the obvious

reference to my mom's you know what and called it a night. I asked my dad if I could sleep in the

spare bedroom because I didn't want to drive home drunk. My dad said that I was more than welcome.

I must have been sleeping for less than an hour before I woke up to the sound of my dad knocking on

...