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Welcome to R slash off my chest, where OP gives birth to a butt baby. Our next Reddit post is from

loose caboose dude. I've been on a medication that causes constipation for almost 10 years.

Sometimes it gets pretty bad, but it's usually

somewhat manageable until this time. I had a literal football size and shaped turd that I could not pass.

I'm sorry, Opie, I don't mean to laugh at this. My butthole just wouldn't stretch wide enough.

I kept having contractions.

My dumb body trying to push the thing out, but it was so large and so dry and rock solid that it wouldn't come out.

I swear my butt was dilated wide enough to have a baby, but nothing was happening. I had to go in manually for it and break it into more manageable chunks. It was so hard and so dry that it took hours. All the while I'm sitting there,

hand up my butt stretched about as wide as a big gulp, tears running down my eyes, wishing I would just spontaneously die. By the time I

was finished, every muscle in my body was sore. I felt like I ran a marathon. My butt, my butthole

feels loose and stinging. I could never tell anyone I know about this. The embarrassment alone would be

even worse than the hell turd.

Thus, this throwaway account and this post.

I just had to tell someone because I legitimately feel traumatized from this.

...