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r/Maliciouscompliance Want to Smell My Fingers? OK!

rSlash

rSlash Reads Reddit

Comedy

4.910.9K Ratings

🗓️ 1 June 2026

⏱️ 17 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

0:00 Intro 0:08 Spicy photo 2:24 Signature 6:22 Smell my fingers 10:00 No OT 13:21 One color Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

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0:23.0

Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you.

0:27.4

Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup.

0:34.9

Have you ever had a nagging feeling that you're right about something, but you haven't actually done the research?

0:39.3

Are weather apps getting less accurate?

0:47.3

While on No Such Thing, three best friends and journalists settle our dumb arguments and yours by actually doing the research.

0:48.3

Don't blame me.

0:50.3

I'm not the weather company.

0:55.1

You can search for No such thing with Manny, Noah, and Devin on your eye heart out,

0:56.9

or wherever you listen to podcast.

1:04.9

Welcome to R-slash malicious compliance, where O.P. shows a picture of his dong to an angry cop. Our next Reddit post is from Bison Glass. While passing through the main square of the

1:09.7

city, we both witnessed a movie-like

1:11.9

chase where three police officers managed to corner a guy who was probably dealing nearby.

1:17.2

I'd never seen anything like that involving law enforcement before, so I decided to tell my

1:22.2

girlfriend about it live by sending her a WhatsApp voice message. So I raised my phone to record the voice message, but then something happened.

1:30.3

On the other side of the street, exactly where they had cornered the guy, a young policeman

1:34.8

noticed I had my phone in my hand and shouted at me, Hey, what are you doing?

1:39.5

I froze, confused.

1:41.7

I didn't process it.

1:43.4

I just stood there, looking at him, thinking he couldn't possibly be talking to me.

1:48.0

After three seconds, I saw him running towards me, still shouting, what are you doing?

1:53.0

I got seriously scared, so I stretched my arm out towards him without touching him and went,

...

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