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My girlfriend would have such an easier time mentally. She's a warrior if I had a place to stay,

so here I am officially asking if anyone in Virginia Beach wants a roommate. I've been the

life of the party and living outside for years now. Please only free or near free offers. I know

what I've got here. My last situation fell through because one of my friends got envious of my huge

dong and lied about me. Plus, I've given everything to live with others every time. And I'm always

left with nothing. I'm super hygienic and I'll help you stop being lazy. And of course, as always,

I have a lot of s***. So you'll have to deal with that smell. Let me know sometime before winter,

or I'll get real crazy on you. Hard emoji. Sunglasses smiling emoji.

What a ideal roommate. Look, man, I can't offer you rent, but what I can offer is making the entire

apartment smell like my balls. Eh? Eh? What do you say? Who doesn't like the smell of ball sweats?

Also, I suppose it's worse than what you think about it. This guy's basically was saying,

what was he saying? He was saying, I really care about my girlfriend. So what I want to do to help

my girlfriend is to not live with her, to live with someone else, and have sex with lots of

random people. That will make my girlfriend stop worrying about me. Yo, what? Okay, down in the comments,

...