What is the greatest comeback to an insult you've ever heard?

Joe Pine interviewing Frank Zappa. Joe says,

I guess your long hair makes you a woman. Frank Zappa says,

I guess your wooden leg makes you a table.

During World War I, Switzerland had a tiny standing army, but they were very skilled marksmen.

Wilhelm II of Germany asked

what 250,000 Swiss troops would do if he decided to invade with 500,000 German troops.

The Swiss said, shoot twice and go home.

18th century British radical politician John Wilkes was told in Parliament by political opponents,

Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox. Wilkes shot back with, that depends, my lord, on whether I

embrace your lordship's principles or your mistress. Oh my God, so he's basically calling

the dude a scumbag and saying his girl is dirty as well.

Wow.

My grandparents used to bicker.

My grandmother generally came out on top as she was firier.

One time, though, she was asking my granddad to do a bunch of stuff.

And he muttered, well, if you'd lose some weight, you could do it yourself.

She fixed her gaze on him and glowered. I'm thinking of getting

rid of about 200 pounds of useless fat immediately. He replied, what? You're going to cut off your

foots? Honestly, nobody bickers like old couples do. They've had years to gain material on each other

and they're not going to back down from a fight, are they? They know everything there is to know.

Amazing. Someone yelled out in a Walmart, I'm not ashamed of who I am. Another voice echoed back.

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