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Am I the jerk for not allowing my daughter to spend Christmas with me and my new family?

I am a 46-year-old mother of a 24-year-old woman from my first marriage and 12 in 10-year-old

boys from my second marriage.

When I was married to my first husband, he was unemployed almost all our marriage.

We lived in his house that his father owned.

His father paid our bills, he bought us the car we drove, he sent my husband money to take

care of our family, etc.

I was young, stupid and in love.

That is my only excuse for living like that.

When my daughter turned five, I started pushing my husband to work and I myself got a job.

He didn't want to.

He was escalated and ended up in us getting divorced.

He got full custody while I got visitations every other Saturday.

His dad hired a good lawyer, I couldn't do that.

...