Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where OPS to kick her entire husband side of the family out of her wedding?

Am I the butthole for kicking the majority of my husband's family out of our wedding when they

celebrated their traditions but violated many of my personal rules and boundaries?

I'm a 27 year old woman and I got married to my husband, who's 30 this January.

However, the wedding was an absolute mess.

For context, my husband, Ben, has a very close-knit family that doesn't take well to outsider

surprises or change. Most family reunions and gatherings don't allow plus ones or spouses

just immediate family. What? Ben has two brothers and one sister. Each of my in-laws have

wives slash husbands but they're still not allowed to come to the majority of family events so

it's fortunately not just me. Even though I cannot attend most events with this family,

I still have a somewhat decent relationship with them. Before the wedding, I've never had a

major issue with them but they've always been distant from me and I don't really mind.

Now let's talk about the wedding. The wedding was planned for New Year's Day. Since that was the

day we met, the day Ben asked me to be his girlfriend, the day he proposed, so that holiday has always

been very special to us. Everyone agreed that New Year's Day was the perfect day for a wedding so

there were no issues there. Unfortunately, we did have a problem with other things. Ben's family

has a lot of odd traditions that they do and over the years I've put up with a lot of them

and even embraced them. These traditions include having homemade sheep cake rather than a

professional wedding cake, wearing all white and having all the children walk up the aisle to toss

flowers rather than having one designated flower girl or flower boy. However, I wanted my wedding

day to be good for the both of us so we made some compromises. We could have the homemade sheep cake

but we both had to agree on the flavor and the design. Anyone could wear what they wanted besides

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