Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole? Where OP emotionally abuses her stepdaughter?

Am I the butthole for forcing my stepdaughter to cut her hair?

I'm a 31-year-old woman, and I met my husband, who's 34-8 years ago.

We've been married for six years. He has an 11-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.

I work from home, so I mainly end up taking care of her. I have since she was young.

We have a generally good relationship. She stays at her mother's for most weekends.

She has incredibly long blonde wavy hair just past her bottom. It's a nightmare to take care of.

It frequently tangles, and she always needs help brushing and styling it before school.

I'm not a morning person, and I don't like having to wake up early to do a kid's hair.

It's expensive to maintain as she requires more products. She insists on using hair oils which

can cost around $11 and only last a few weeks. She also insists that she has to use curly hair

shampoo instead of regular shampoo and conditioner, which is often over $10 per bottle.

Also, she goes through it at a fast rate. She won't use a regular brush on it,

and she insists that it breaks her hair and hurts her, so she uses a wide tooth comb,

which takes a long time to brush, when she could be doing other, more productive things,

such as homework or helping me with chores. I decided that she's become obsessed with her hair,

and I don't want her to become vain, so I decided that it needs to be cut. I don't see it as a big

deal, as I've always had shoulder length hair as my hair doesn't grow very fast, and I get frequent

trims. It's a lot more practical. I took her to the hairdressers as normal. In the car on the way

down, she said that she wants to make sure the hairdresser doesn't cut too much. I politely

explained that I would like her to cut her hair to shoulder length because her hairs become a burden.

At first, she thought that I was joking, but when she realized I wasn't, she started to cry.

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