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Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Quickie w/ Yue: Why We Need To Be A Bit Delulu When It Comes To Love

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Sexuality, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.7910 Ratings

🗓️ 11 January 2026

⏱️ 7 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We're all so rational when it comes to dating and trying to find our person. But what if we need to be a bit more delusional? And what's missing is that level of delulu that helps us envision what we truly want and actually believe it's possible. Yue shares why she's going to be embrace being delusional this year and how we all can get some of that magic back into dating, relationships and love. Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/ HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE Our Sponsors: * Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE * Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0

My hot take is that we should be more delusional this year.

0:03.6

Hey, everyone, it's UA dropping in for a quickie episode.

0:07.0

I really feel like dating has become too rational.

0:10.3

We've become grounded, self-aware.

0:12.7

We've become very realistic in the way we date.

0:15.6

But that's also what makes it not so fun anymore.

0:19.1

We've removed the magic.

0:24.2

Dating now feels flat, a little joyless, and over-processed. So let's get more delusional. And that's why I'm wearing this shirt. Do you all see

0:30.4

it? If you're on YouTube, you see it. Do you get it? Do you need a minute to get it? If you're not

0:36.2

on YouTube, maybe this will entice you to check us out on

0:39.0

YouTube. But this is where I'm going to live this year in Dulululand. I've just got the keys to

0:45.4

an apartment in Delululand. I signed a one-year lease. I want to live here because I'm done

0:51.4

being so rational all the time. We're all so rational. And being rational is not a

0:56.6

bad thing. But if we are only living in rationality, it means we're only living in the past,

1:02.9

right? Think about it. Being rational means you are rationalizing based on lived experiences,

1:09.3

but you only know what you know. So beyond rationality

1:13.1

is the unknown. That's where the fun and excitement happens. But that's also where you need to be

1:19.4

a little delusional to live in this fantasy, in this world that you haven't lived in yet.

1:25.2

So I guess we can look at all the data. We can look at historical

1:29.8

evidence. We can look at patterns. We've done that already. But let's get rid of the logic,

1:36.9

you know, even for a second. Let's just pause there. And then just think about like,

1:41.2

I want to be surprised again. I believe and I'm confident that the

...

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