Quickie Sex or Not-So-Quickie Sex

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Debra Fileta, M.A., LPC and Creator of TrueLoveDates.com

Self-improvement, Relationships, Education, Religion & Spirituality, Christianity, Society & Culture

4.9 • 757 Ratings

🗓️ 5 October 2021

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Quickie Sex or Not So Quickie? That’s today’s topic! Q: Sometimes I’d enjoy something spontaneous, but my wife prefers to wait until the end of the night so she can unwind. How can we honor each other’s preferences? Friends – we’re talking about sex! And the sex series continues with this important question!!! Over the course of the next few weeks, in celebration of the new book launch of Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide To Reimagining Your Love Life (It’s officially available TODAY!!!! CLICK HERE TO ORDER!!!!), we’re taking all your questions about sex! Gary Thomas, my co-author, is joining me as co-host for this Love & Relationships Podcast Series: All About SEX! Today’s question comes from a man who would like sex to be spontaneous every once in a while with quickie sex, but his wife prefers to wait until the end of the evening so she can wind down (and after the kids are in bed!) and enjoy not-so-quickie sex. So what’s the balance of meeting the different needs and preferences that come up with sex? How do you honor each other when you have different desires? Is there any way to meet in the middle? Gary and I tag-team this question and talk about some practical ways to honor your spouse even when you have different preferences between quick and spontaneous sex, vs. scheduled or longer sexual experiences. I also include a couple practical suggestions for those in the life stage of keeping your sex life alive even when you’ve got little kids at home (…because I can speak from experience!!!) Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ABIDE & Everlywell FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY – iHEART RADIO Are you ready to take your sex life to the next level? Order Married Sex AVAILABLE Today!!!! ATTN MARRIED COUPLES: check out the Married Sex Online Conference! 25+ seminars about sex, 12 months to stream, plus a FREE copy of our book Married Sex! Register Today!! And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?, and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, welcome back to the Love and Relationships podcast. I'm your host, Deborah Felata.
0:24.4	For those of you who don't know me, I'm a licensed professional counselor and author of five books.
0:30.5	My podcast is typically a hotline style show where I tackle all your questions in candid, practical, bite-sized answers. But for the next few weeks,
0:39.9	we're shifting gears a little bit. We're going to be talking all about sex. I'll be taking all
0:46.5	your questions about sex and intimacy and answering as many of them as I can. My newest book is
0:53.0	called Married Sex. It's loaded with practical steps,
0:57.1	candid conversations, and start today methods that are going to help you take your sex life
1:02.7	to the next level. It's a book I co-authored with pastor and bestselling marriage author, Gary
1:09.0	Thomas. We decided to tag team this message to bring you a male,
1:14.1	female, pastoral counselor perspective. Gary will be joining me as co-host for this podcast series,
1:22.3	and there's no question we're afraid to tackle, so send them all in. This is such an important conversation,
1:29.9	such an important book, and such an important series because there's not enough good content
1:34.9	and conversation out there about sex. And we want to change that. Friends, before we dive
1:40.3	into this episode, I just want you to know that Married Sex officially releases today,
1:46.2	and we couldn't be more excited about it. Grab your copy anywhere books are sold,
1:51.3	or go to Marriedsex.us. Marriedsex.us. We can't wait to get this book into your hands,
2:00.4	and we're so excited to get your feedback.
2:08.6	Let's take a listen to today's question.
2:11.6	Hey, Deborah and Gary. My question is this. I really enjoy spontaneous lovemaking every now and then, or really would just enjoy something quick, but my wife prefers it to be scheduled and in the right setting, specifically after the kids go to bed so she can unwind. So my question is, do you have suggestions for how we can respect one another yet still meet
2:37.2	both of our needs and desires in a healthy way? Thanks.
2:43.3	Welcome back to the sex Q&A series. We're so glad that you're listening. And we're ready
2:49.7	to dive into this awesome and important
	...

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