4.4 • 2.4K Ratings
🗓️ 24 July 2025
⏱️ 11 minutes
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Regret is our most misunderstood emotion, but it can also be the pathway to our best life. In this episode, Brian talks to bestselling author Daniel Pink about his new book, “The Power of Regret,” and discovers how we can use our regrets to make smarter decisions, perform better and deepen our sense of meaning and purpose.
YOU WILL LEARN:
· The effects of counterfactual thinking.
· The four core regrets people have.
· The difference between action and inaction regrets.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
“The Power of Regret,” by Daniel Pink
“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying,” by Bronnie Ware
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE:
“Regrets give us a picture of the good life.” – Daniel Pink
“If we treat our regrets properly - not ignoring them, not ruminating on them, but confronting them - the benefits are huge.” – Daniel Pink
“Regret clarifies what we value.” – Daniel Pink
“We overvalue planning and undervalue doing.” – Daniel Pink
“When we think about our regrets, what we have to do is we have to actually reframe the way we think about ourselves.” – Daniel Pink
“Regret is a compass of sorts. It's pointing us directionally to a life well lived.” – Daniel Pink
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to It's a Good Life with Brian Bafini, founder of America's largest business coaching company. |
| 0:10.4 | Here's a short, classic cut from one of our all-time favorite episodes. |
| 0:16.3 | Well, top of the morning to you, and welcome to It's a Good Life podcast. I'm your host, Brian Bafini. |
| 0:21.4 | And this show is all about feeling, thinking, and doing better. And getting to the good life requires having that right mindset. And help us get us there today. We have a very special guest, Mr. Daniel, and his latest book is called The Power of Regret. How Looking Backward moves us forward. I love this book, Daniel. I'm looking forward to |
| 0:39.3 | getting into it today. Thanks for being on the show. I really enjoyed this read. Congrats. |
| 0:44.2 | Brian, thanks for reading the book and thanks for having me on the program. I'm really glad to be |
| 0:48.1 | with you. In the book, one of the things that really jumped out for me and get a little technical |
| 0:52.3 | with it is this whole dynamic of counterfactuals |
| 0:55.0 | and how they can affect us? One of the things that regret teaches us, I mean, not only does it, |
| 0:59.9 | does the regret make us human and make us better, but we should be impressed with our ability |
| 1:04.5 | to regret things. It takes a lot of cognitive dexterity. Our minds and our brains are incredible. |
| 1:12.2 | And one of the things that our minds and brains do is exactly as you say, counterfactual thinking. That is, we can conjure |
| 1:18.0 | events that run counter to the actual facts. And there are two broad categories of counterfactual |
| 1:24.7 | thinking. One of them is what's known as downward counterfactuals, |
| 1:30.1 | where you imagine how things could have been worse. I like, downward counterfactual is too |
| 1:35.9 | complicated. I like to call it in it at least thinking. One of the things that you see is that if you |
| 1:40.0 | look at the facial expressions of Olympic medalists, you'll find that gold medalists are the happiest. |
| 1:45.5 | But bronze medalists are pretty psyched. Bronze medalists look really happy. Why? Because of the |
| 1:50.0 | counterfactual. At least I got a medal. Exactly. At least that didn't finish fourth, like that shmo |
| 1:56.0 | over there doesn't have any metal. So we think about how it could have been worse. And here's the thing |
| 2:00.4 | about at least that kind of counterfactual thinking. That makes us feel better. And feeling better is |
| 2:05.4 | cool. Now, there's another kind of counterfactual thinking, which is an upward counterfactual, |
... |
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