Oh my god, we're kicking it old school having funlessness with Jen Kirkman episode 234.

A listener email episode. Don't worry if you're new to the podcast. It's not just me reading emails. It's me reading emails, but it sparks me to jump off into a personal story. So stick around now. I say kicking it old school because I am recording this from my home, you know, normally I am in studio and I, you know, I love the vibe of doing it at home, but honestly, I just don't have the right equipment. And I don't

feel like getting it and I got too much to fucking do. So there's a little bit, I think of a static sound on this episode. And it's the last episode of February. I feel like it's just us, right? We're doing Patreon starting in March. Not that there's going to be more people necessarily that know about the show. I don't know. I just feel like something about this episode right now makes me feel like it's just you and me old school listeners.

That's who I'm broadcasting this one to and if new listeners feel free to listen in and get a sense now real quick. What would this podcast be without me real quick running down my dates. Now I have.

Oh, wait, I think this is going to come out. Oh, it's going to come out on the 26. So I don't need to tell you that we just released 10 seats for Dana Carvey show because you already don't know the show is over. Okay, great. What an episode already. Oh my God. Here we go.

Everybody I am in Phoenix on Saturday, March 28th at CB live 7 p.m. show. Guess what? My only stop in Arizona this year. I thought I'd do it on a Saturday for those of you who could drive in from other parts and it might be easier to do that on a Saturday. Not me. I work on Saturdays. Well, most people work Monday through Friday working nine to five. What a way to make living.

So there you go tickets Jen Kirkman dot com click tour please buy them in advance. Here's how it works when you do not buy them in advance. I don't know how many people are coming and I assume that I will not make my budget for that gig when I know people are coming. I am able to make different choices such as I don't know it's hard to explain. You know, maybe I don't take it maybe I don't have time to take a little job in March. I better because no one's bought tickets and I get to the show it sold out my dammit.

You know what I'm saying stuff like that if we need to add a second show we need to do it now so you have to sell it out now I know the show is not going to sell out now I'm just not that kind of draw anymore I don't know what the fuck's happening I've never been funnier who fucking knows but please I've been begging you guys I see the ticket numbers and they're they're okay.

But not one of you has posted that you're coming to the show and I know that there are many many coming so please take a picture of your ticket take a picture of yourself buy in a ticket make a little video put it on Instagram at Jen Kirkman tag me I will retweet you you will have a much better life after that or find me on Twitter at Jen Kirkman.

You can also try to use hashtag Jen Kirkman 2020 now let that be said for every show that I'm about to talk about please when you buy tickets post about it brag about it do it now not wait not wait till the night of now it helps me get other people interested and then I will be in New York City.

May 7th through 9th Mother's Day weekend at Caroline's Comedy Club my act is so parent friendly in fact my act right now is perfect to bring your mom is a lot of stuff about my mom and our relationship and of course as always there's stuff about not having kids because I do not have kids so it is perfect for the mom and non mom alike you've got five shows to choose from New York City at Caroline's Jen Kirkman dot com click tour and then

Spokane Washington is on sale that is my first time in that fine city as a performer been there as a human and now I am doing the Spokane Comedy Club so let's not give me an embarrassing show of it you know what I mean June 4th through 6th 4 shows Jen Kirkman dot com click tour

going on sale oh well on sale as well as Dallas I'm coming back 4 shows that is the only Texas stop this year so San Antonio Houston Austin all my fans there get in those cars and come see me I will be there just for two nights July 10th and 11th 2 shows each at hyenas comedy club nightclub in Dallas everything on sale now Jen Kirkman dot com click tour coming up

when a peg in August Buffalo New York Bloomington Indiana in September and in November right after the election Seattle and Portland Oregon none of those are on sale yet the when a peg

and Bloomington and Buffalo and Seattle and Portland not on sale yet but go to Jen Kirkman dot com click Kirk mail you'll get one of my exciting newsletters that tells you when tickets go on sale and I send you a link directly I do it

all for you I do all the work a treat you like a bunch of baby birds I feed you anyway and next week will begin the patreon I don't really know how to tell you to sign up right now it's patreon dot com slash Jen Kirkman I guess you can go there and we'll see what happens I have a meeting with them tomorrow not tomorrow when you hear this but tomorrow when I'm recording this

so I don't listen just stay tuned follow me on Instagram at Jen Kirkman podcast

and that might be a good way to find out about it or of course go to my website Jen Kirkman dot com click podcast all the information will be right there all right this week's episode is sponsored by a wealth front and attitude I will tell you about

those fabulous sponsors a little bit later let's settle in right now and talk to the listeners who have questions for me now I did have a listener write me on Twitter it wasn't my favorite it hurt my feelings because I'm a human and humans get hurt feelings and there's nothing that hurts my feelings more when then I am caught being human

and I was caught being human on many episodes because I make noises with my mouth so I get dry from talking for an hour so sometimes I have to swallow and I have to move away from the mic but then it creates this weird silence and it's very frustrating to have to move away from the mic every 90 seconds I do have to drink water during the tapings for my vocal cord

and so I don't sound dry I have a producer she's fabulous she does edit out a lot of the bigger moments of doing this but something happens to me and that's you know it's actually part of my gift part of what I love doing is when I perform I go into a zone I don't really even know what I'm saying I'm channeling my innermost thoughts even when I'm on stage doing comedy that I have recited 50 times I'm in a zone like I don't know what's going on around me

and I don't always stop to think am I making mouth smacking noises I fucking hate it when I listen to it it makes me nuts and I go what can I do I can't re record an episode so I it I'm trying my best but somebody wrote me it sounds gross they can't stand it listen I agree with you that is the worst part about internet comment culture which is when people do it in such a minute

...