I hate to say it, but his parents have been feeling unwell as of late, and I'm staying with them to help take care of Alex. Oh, so it's serious? Oh, no, no, it's not serious. Nothing terminal.

It's just a touch of consumption.

And welcome back to horror queers.

We're talking, vampires don't settle old scores.

We harbor them. We're talking, I'm in Episcopalian. And we're talking, vampires don't settle old scores, we harbor them.

We're talking, I'm in Episcopalian, and we're talking straightwashing the vampire chronicles.

And I'm Joe.

And I'm Trace, and we're talking Jesse.

Boo.

The most important character in Anne Rice's Queen of the Damned, clearly.

Jesus Christ.

Everyone, we are discussing Michael Reimer's Queen of the Damned, a choice of an adaptation, I guess we will say.

Mm-hmm.

Let's just say, I've been looking forward to your production history all week because

Here's the thing I will come out early on and say I don't think that this movie is terrible in subways

It's a campy delight because it's just a bit of a giant cluster fuck but I am perplexed as to why they thought that this was going to work

I okay I have a lengthy production history for us, Joe. I was not aware of how much information I was going to be able to get because this was my first time watching this movie. And I knew about it. You know, I knew what people didn't like about it. But I, like, I guess I always just thought, yeah, just like, whatever, we made it, didn't work, we got rid of it. There were a slew of decisions made that fucked this movie over. But at the end of the day, I mean, if you don't want to skip ahead and just go straight to the plot, like, what's the 40-minute mark of this episode, you can just chalk it up to suits, the studio.

Like suits in the studio did not know what they were doing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it feels like they truly underestimated the fandom, which is wild because we have already been through interview with the vampire.

So it's like, you would have thought they would have learned some lessons.

...