Welcome to the History Tricks, where any resemblance to a boring old history lesson is purely coincidental.

And here's your 30-second summary!

First, there was Henry VII, the conqueror, then Henry VIII, the serial killer monogamous, then Edward the Boy King and Mary the Bloody.

Finally, a golden orb balls from the tutor family tree.

The princess, the bastard, the brat, the lady, the loriana, the good queen best, the fairy queen, the virgin queen, or simply Elizabeth the First.

The best!

Let's talk about Queen Elizabeth the First.

On September 7th, 1533, Ann Bolin gave birth to Elizabeth.

It was her first child, the second child of Papa Henry VIII.

The second living legitimate child anyway.

Her legitimacy was often in question by one, fraction or another, even by her father, at times, but just for clarity's sake.

At the time of her birth, her father said she'd been born in lawful wedlock, for all that's worth.

She was baptized as princess Elizabeth, she was recognized as the princess, at her birth, and for a couple years afterwards.

At this point, if you want some in-depth coverage of the circumstances leading to Elizabeth's birth, and her earliest childhood, you should go back, you know, go away, listen to our teeny tiny tutor tutorial.

It's a small one, it's a mini-cast, and then perhaps listen to Queen Catherine, followed by Ann Bolin, and for those who don't want to go back just now, here's a quick summary of how we got to this point.

Henry VIII was married to Catherine of Eragon for 24 years.

Catherine produced one daughter, Mary, but no sons. Henry needed, he wanted a son.

He connects with Ann Bolin, who tempts him but doesn't give in to him because she wants to be Queen.

The only way for that to happen is if Henry separates England from the Catholic Church.

During that process, Henry needed pretty much the entire Catholic Church, lots of other countries, and put his country on the road to religious unrest.

He makes himself the head of the Church of England, says that now he can divorce Catherine of Eragon, Mary's Ann Bolin, who at the time was pregnant with Elizabeth.

So it was with breath held and eager anticipation that Ann Bolin, ironically and rarely at the palace of placentia, which is no longer in existence, which is a bummer, was delivered up, not the sun and air, not Henry VIII saving grace, or so he thought, but a little princess.

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