Well, Jesse's alive. That's the story of the day. Not dead yet.

Well, it's the elixir that's keeping him.

Yeah, he wouldn't let me see this thing. He says, you've got to save it for the show.

So Jesse has been deathly ill. Big news. Big news. Under four bills, though. That stomach bug. To be fair, I talked about this on

the last pod that as soon as I start thinking, oh, I'm going to be under 400 for the first time,

something will happen. Something happened. I'm slowly dying, apparently. But I'm alive now,

so that's good news. Don't. Under 4, though. I'm under 400. Officially. You know the way. This is great. First time 11 years, he said. I took a picture. Actually, it may have been longer than that. 3.96. Oh, geez, dude, no, that's way too. I'm at 398.6. Dude, good for you. I mean, that's awesome. I will criticize you the rest of the show, but not about this. That is an amazing accomplishment. I appreciate it. What I'm drinking is a live ancient mushroom elixir. Okay. This is the thing. I'm trying to be supportive and he's drinking a ground-up

mushroom while he has diarrhea. It's cola flavor. And it's cola flavor. Yeah. It's cola flavor. Oh, good. Easier for the embalmer to work. Fantastic. I'm just, I'm just going to tell you. It's good. It helps. It does. It helps the stomach. I don't know what's going on. Have you ever had an issue where like you're just like sitting there

consuming nothing, but then just like you're building up gas in your stomach like just and you burp

constantly. You can't burp. I know I can't. Exactly. And you don't know. You can't imagine the pain that

comes with just like in the middle of the night, wake up,

go to the bathroom and just have to like get the air out, you know? That's a whole other thing. This isn't good. We have to start getting serious about your life decisions. I've been saying that for years. I thought I was serious. I thought I was being serious. You're over there like a guinea pig doing the stuff that no one knows what's doing to you. That being said, I am alive right now. I'm not sweating constantly, so that's a good sign. I feel good. And here's the thing. It could just be food poisoning. Michael did not get sick. None of us got sick. I invited a few. Ten of us over there. Only Jesse got sick. I just, I don't know what it is. At this point, I'm hoping that's, I need something. Big picture. That's your big picture of the day. Big, oh, you know what? We have a straight cash homie. Straight cash, homie. You're not dead. You're not dead. Put a little effort into it if you're going to do it. Let's not act like you're dead yet. That was pathetic. Straight cash, homie. I can't. I had to give you odds. A hundred percent like, yes, you're here. Like 100% is like absolutely here doing it. Zero percent is you're in the ground. What are the odds you're here on Thursday for the pod? Oh, Thursday. These things move quick. That's the problem. They move quick. I'll be fine. I want the name of the mess. We're going after people. I go to the doctor on Wednesday. Thank God. We're going after people. Yeah, no, no, no. Oh, I thought about this last night. It was like 2 a.m.

I was in the bathroom. doctor on Wednesday. Thank God. We're going after people. Yeah, no, no, no. Oh, I thought about this last night.

Yeah, we're suing everybody in sight.

I was in the bathroom and I was just like, all right, do I need to write down instructions for what my wife needs to do? Yes. Sue everyone. Here's the lawsuit. Here's who you talk to. Yeah, because for God knows you're getting a piece of this. Oh, Jason's here with us, by the way.

Jason's here. I was almost convinced to try this elixirn.

It's actually... of this. No, that's fair. Oh, Jason's here with us,

by the way.

Jason.

I was almost convinced to try this elixir. It's actually really good. Let me tell you. Let me tell you right now. Let me tell you right now. You don't need to be doing anything you see. You're not imitating anything you see over there. It's not going to work out. Ancient mushroom elixir. He's over here ready to die at the age of 39 drinking an elixir on a toilet.

I'm 38.

I was being generous.

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