Putin & Xi Meet To Discuss Immortality & Bang Prostitutes | 9.4.25

Hard Factor

Comedy

4.5 • 4.4K Ratings

🗓️ 4 September 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Episode 1786 - brought to you by our incredible sponsors: Poncho - If you’ve been looking for the perfect shirt—something breathable, fits great, feels even better, and stands out in a good way—give Poncho a try. Go to ponchoutdoors.com/HARDFACTOR for $10 off your first order. Lucy - Let’s level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to ⁠⁠Lucy.co/HARDFACTOR⁠⁠ and use promo code (HARDFACTOR) to get 20% off your first order. Lucy has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind. Brooklyn Bedding - Go to brooklynbedding.com and use code HARDFACTOR at checkout to get 30% off sitewide. This offer is not available anywhere else. DaftKings - Download the DraftKings Casino app, sign up with code HARDFACTOR, and spin your favorite slots! The Crown is Yours - Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred GAMBLER 00:00:00 Timestamps 00:04:35 NYC has a real dog shit problem on its hands 00:21:55 Putin, Xi & other world leaders met to discuss immortality, have sex with prostitutes & check out China’s nuclear weapons Man Time Moves 00:31:00: Russian dad breaks into waterpark to give his son an unforgettable 11th birthday party 00:34:10 A Male guinea pig named Randy broke into the female enclosure and impregnated all of them 00:36:50 Greta Thunberg is being memed for her new haircut as she once again tries to sail to Gaza Thank you for listening!! Go to ⁠patreon.com/hardfactor⁠ to join our community. We love you, and most importantly HAGFD! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, Anna, I've got a new secret weapon for print.
0:02.2	Print?
0:02.9	Vista print, right?
0:04.0	That's not a secret.
0:23.2	Print everything for your business with Vistaprint. Business cards, stickers, t-shirt, signage, even photo books from your last holiday. If you need it, we print it at vistoprint.co.com. What it is! This is a macho man, Randy Savage. And this is hard factor. And there is no one that does it better.
0:24.5	Right now, yeah.
0:52.1	No. macho man Randy Savage. And this is hard factor. And there is no one that does it better right now. Yeah. Nobody does it better. I ain't repeating myself. Go ahead. Tell me something right now. Yeah. And I'm living in a nightmare. And I'm not a racist. And I'm always chilling. Oh, yeah. Good morning and welcome to episode 1786 of Hard Factor.
1:03.0	It is Thursday, September 4th, 2025.
1:05.7	Thank you for cheating on the news with us, 80-ish percent accuracy, guaranteed on this podcast.
1:10.6	Patreon.com slash hard factor if you
1:12.3	need more hard factor today west is up first what you got west i got dog shit i got lots of dog
1:20.0	shit um apparently there's a dog shit problem in new york city and i don't know if these are San Francisco dogs or what that have been, you know, transferred over to New York City.
1:34.0	But they're shitting on the sidewalk.
1:35.9	Well, you know the problem with New York City is that it's 150% sidewalk.
1:41.7	Right.
1:42.7	So, you know, it's a lot of people yell at New York and New York City about people's dogs
1:48.1	shitting on the sidewalk.
1:49.5	And then you look around and you see nothing but sidewalk.
1:53.1	And you think, well, how does a dog shit in this city?
1:57.4	They shit on the sidewalk.
1:59.5	Then they piss on the sidewalk, they piss on the sidewalk too
2:01.2	it seems like the only thing they do
	...

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