Put Down Your Phone

Community Service with Craig Conant

Craig Conant

Comedy

5 • 774 Ratings

🗓️ 23 September 2025

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Craig talks about plant shopping, botox, and putting your blinders on.

Get your tickets now for The Woopsie Daisy Tour! - https://punchup.live/craigconant

Lomita Man Merch Out Now!- https://www.craigconantstore.com

Follow Craig!

TikTok - https://tiktok.com/@craigpconant/

IG - https://instagram.com/craigpconant/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/craigpconant/

Merch - https://craigconantstore.com/

Check out my nephew Thaddeus's Gardening Video! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nxl-ioNIZA&t=3sSmall Business Plugs

Need a natural, holistic facial or some Ayurvedic healing?

Contact Cynthia at Ritual Skin and Soul:

https://instagram.com/livecynplyayurveda/

https://instagram.com/ritualskinandsoul/

Check out Brian Johnson's Art! He did the 3 Skeletons Skateboards + The New Podcast Studio: https://www.instagram.com/brianjohnsonstudios/

Aztlan Herbal Remedies - https://www.aztlanherbalremedies.com/

Kettlebells South Bay - https://www.instagram.com/kettlebellssouthbay/

PV Coin Exchange - https://palosverdescoinexchange.com/

Deadlight Visions Graphic Design - https://instagram.com/deadlightvisions/

Donny Honcho's Healthy Pet Products - https://linktr.ee/localdogdaddy

Swank Hank's Handmade EDC - https://swankhanks.com/

Glitch Pudding, Acrylic Artist - https://instagram.com/glitchpudding/

Hoobs Glass Art - https://www.hoobsglass.net/

The Pet's Choice Animal Groomers - https://www.instagram.com/thepetschoice_wilmington.ca/

Craig's Holistic Doctors:

Dr. Jay - https://www.instagram.com/100yearsjay/

PBC Health - https://www.instagram.com/pbchealthwellness/

Healing/Hustling Links:

Louise Hay - https://youtu.be/lz16YqpWkz4

Wayne Dyer - https://youtu.be/44ImQV46lF4

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life - https://youtube.com/watch?v=14JxE7i0EPc

Louise Hay Sleep Meditation - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz8bHR4o7E0

Emmet Fox - Prayer Is Not A Way Of Asking, But Of Receiving - https://youtu.be/Tf4yVNtMOgw?si=fQGIg-SGgbF8nBuS

Robert Kiyosaki - Liabilities to Assets - https://youtube.com/watch?v=A8vD_XO0vUU

Craig's favorite healers:

Esther Hicks (AKA Abraham Hicks)

Joe Dispenza

Bruce Lipton

Dr. Sebi

Also shout out to these light workers giving out that lost knowledge:

Dr. Delbert Blair

Dolores Cannon

Santos Bonnaci

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	How shit.
0:02.0	Howdy-do-do-hurt.
0:04.0	Howdy-Doo-Zero in progress for most of each.
0:09.0	Subject is 25 and appears what shit is good.
0:13.0	Get back here.
0:20.0	Howdy-duddy, howdy-d-de-do. Turn off your phone. Get out of there. Go garden. Hey,
0:26.6	coming to a city near you. Chicago, Illinois, Brea, California, Louisville, Kentucky, Madison, Wisconsin, Springfield, Indianapolis, Dania Beach, Florida, Spokane.
0:39.4	Followed by, not followed by. Also, I am at the comedy store. We have story time with
0:44.9	Craig Conan at the comedy store in the belly room. September 23rd, October 28th, November 25th.
0:51.4	Those are all at 8 p.m. Los Angeles Comedy Store Storytime, Craig Conan. I love you all.
0:58.8	Rate, review, like, subscribe. Thank you for everything. And what else? Honopon, ponopon, pono. You'll
1:07.2	understand in the end. And then... Some merch. Merch.
1:11.4	Got the merch. If you need a shirt, why not get it for me? It's high quality. Fuck Walmart. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. They're not Union. Go to Costco or Craig Conan. That's right. I plug Costco, too. They got to give me six bucks. Those sons are gun. No, I'm kidding. What else?
1:27.9	I can't read.
1:28.3	Record yourself.
1:29.4	Oh, yeah, send in poop stories, sending in audios. That was fantastic. You'll see at the end. There's an audio of a poop story. Nice, sweet lady. Sounds beautiful until you heard what she did. Till you hear what she did. And you go, huh. Poop stories, party stories, redemption stories, sobriety stories, you know, good stories.
1:51.3	I love you all.
1:52.5	Thank you.
1:53.4	I'll see you.
1:54.3	I see you on the road.
1:57.3	Hallelujah.
1:59.8	Are we rolling?
	...

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