Prophecies Fulfilled, GameStop Stonks, Impeaching A Former President | Babylon Bee Weekly
The Babylon Bee
Seth Dillon
4.4 • 2.9K Ratings
🗓️ 29 January 2021
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Kyle and Ethan from The Babylon Bee talk about Gavin Newsom lifting lockdowns, GameStop stonks, and the impeachment of a former president. They also throw down in an epic rap battle and tell you how you can have a zoo name a roach after your ex.
Introduction
Kyle and Ethan have a rap battle so you will throw money at them.
Stuff That’s Good
Kyle likes his trusty Leatherman Rebar.
Ethan likes his new collection of G.K. Chesterton poems signed by the man himself.
Weird News
Zoo offers to name roaches, rats after patrons' ex-lovers
GoPro camera recovered after six years underwater in Hawaii
Skier chased by a bear at Romanian resort
Inventor unveils airbag jeans to protect motorcyclists in crashes
Oklahoma bill would establish a Bigfoot hunting season
Toronto woman finds knife-wielding squirrel in the back yard
Man catches 54 pieces of popcorn in his mouth in one minute
Stories of the Week
Story 1 'You Can Reopen Now!' Governor Newsom Shouts At Row Of Abandoned, Dilapidated Buildings
Story 3 Congress To Retroactively Impeach All Previous Republican Presidents
Topic of the Week
https://babylonbee.com/news/another-10-fulfilled-prophecies-from-the-babylon-bee
Hate Mail
Richard takes issue with us assuming the fate of the eternal soul of Jeffrey Epstein or making light of hell.
Subscriber Portion
Subscriber Update
Mailbag
A LOVE MAIL from Joseph R. and asking for advice on marriage & purity, and also to dispute Kyle and Dan’s ranking of LOTR films.
Bonus Hate Mail
Kwame thinks our AOC coverage is bad and we should feel bad.
Subscriber Headlines of the Week
Got Any Cool Stories?
We get an unbelievable update about one of Calvins- you already know which one.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | In a world of fake news, we bring you up to the minute factual inaccuracy and a heavy |
| 0:07.9 | dose of moral truth. |
| 0:11.2 | With your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole. |
| 0:16.7 | This is the Babylon B. Fake news you can trust. |
| 0:22.7 | Hey everybody, it's the Babylon B. I'm Kyle Mann on the Editor-in-Chief of the Babylon |
| 0:28.7 | B. |
| 0:29.7 | I'm Ethan Nicole, bro. |
| 0:30.7 | Oh man, righteous. |
| 0:31.7 | Righteous. |
| 0:32.7 | Yeah. |
| 0:33.7 | And Lord just loves you guys. |
| 0:35.3 | We just want you guys to just feel, just come as you are and just want you to. |
| 0:38.1 | We just want to love on you. |
| 0:39.4 | We just want to do life together, man. |
| 0:42.2 | We have love. |
| 0:43.2 | And we want to pour it on you. |
| 0:44.5 | Yeah, like a bucket of slummy. |
| 0:46.7 | Ah, like syrup. |
| 0:48.0 | Like you guys are toast and God's love is like syrup. |
| 0:51.0 | And melting butter. |
| 0:52.0 | And then we just want to pour the melted butter over you, man. |
| 0:54.8 | Ah, man. |
... |
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