Are you messing with me now?

No, I'm not messing with you. I'm channeling the dead violet. This is what happens.

Ha ha ha ha.

Hi guys, I'm welcome to a brand new, almost adulting with me, your host, Violet Benson.

Today's episode is going to be super fun because we have the amazing New Jersey medium, and she basically brings me the piece that I've been so longing for after all these years.

If you listen to my solo episode beginning of the month, you kind of have an idea of what I'm talking about, and that's basically the piece that I've needed with my grandma.

She gets to connect with her, and it's honestly going to be amazing. You're probably going to cry, no big deal, so I hope you have some tissues.

But before we get started, there's something that I want to address.

You know how I've always said that I want to date a British man and move to England specifically for the cold weather and on certain sized peens.

Maybe I haven't said this out loud, but I've always thought this, okay? I've been ready to move.

But guess what? After now attempting to date my third British man, I have decided that I will never, ever make that mistake again and date a British guy again, never.

Okay? I'm sorry, but has anyone ever tried to have even like a simple text conversation with these guys?

It's like we're both speaking English yet too completely different languages, in it. In it? You mean, isn't it? Isn't it?

And I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't know why half of these men, first of all, they look like their mother breastfed them until they were at least 15.

And if you don't act like their mother and treat them like gods give to Earth, they will literally just cry. They're so sensitive, have serious victim mentality, super selfish, terrible style.

Don't even get me started on their hygiene and no sense of humor. And look, I get it. These guys in England, I mean, they have no sun like 80% of the year.

And have you seen what their famous traditional English breakfast looks like? Like my worst nightmare.

So obviously, they have zero reason to ever smile or be happy. I get it. But for fuck's sake, lighten up. It's almost like none of these guys ever had to develop any actual personality because they've gone by with their accents.

The whole personality is just 50% asking if you fancy some tea and the other 50% because they have no idea of how to carry human conversation is them trying to slip a finger into your fun hole.

Like, am I going to get into their teeth because that's more of a superficial thing, but do I even think they floss? Do I think they even brush their tongue?

I'm 90% sure they do not. And I'm sorry, but if you can't even brush your tongue, how am I supposed to expect or believe that you have any time to clean your turtle neck down there?

I mean, I'm not saying some of their nicknames should be cottage cheese dick, but it probably should. Okay.

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