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This week's number 70. A Florida man crossing the Atlantic Ocean in a buoyant hamster wheel made its 70 miles up the coast of Georgia before the U.S. Coast Guard intercepted him.

Choose story. Hamsters were my favorite first pets. They live five days and don't require any food or water.

Welcome to ProfG markets. Today we're discussing Google's antitrust case, Birkenstock's IPO, and surge pricing at the pub.

Have not felt that. Here with the news is ProfG media analyst Ed Elson. Ed, what is going on?

I'm well. Are you back in London? I'm back in the UK. When did you get back?

I got back from Atlanta where I was with Chick-fil-A, super nice people, and I came back for the IMG off-site at Soho Farmhouse where a bunch of people in linear TV were still in consensual hallucination that they can grow those assets.

Jesus Christ. Did you tell them that?

Yeah, I said this. Here's the thing. They can still be great assets. You can still make a lot of money, but stop treating it like a teenager and pumping up full of Botox and lying to your employees and investors that you're going to somehow stop the bleeding.

If it's linear, it's in decline. The bright spot, though, and that was one of the things that was so interesting about this gathering is sports.

Linear for sports is a feature not a bug. For everything else, it's a bug. I don't want to have to watch the Brady Bunch at APM on a Friday night.

And I get distracted listening up up and away in my beautiful balloon by the fifth dimension with my father and it's 8.35 and I freak out and start crying for hours because I realize I've missed the Brady Bunch.

Anyways, childhood trauma, Ed. But you have, for sports, linear is a feature. My kids don't watch the watch highlights, but they're not going to DVR, the Arsenal game.

And then, you know, watch it later. It's either live or it's memory, so to speak. They don't and they'll endure the ads.

But distinct to that, there was guys from Comcast and Disney and they're all talking about, we still expect growth and they talk about all their small victories and say,

Jesus, are you guys just lying to everybody or do you actually believe this shit?

What do they say when you tell them that they all took off and their helicopter went back to their jets?

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