Lots of us approach the challenges of being ourselves by wanting to sort of find ways to exert more control over it.

And not only is that, does that run into the problem that there's only so much control we can exert as finite humans,

but also that we actually, if we think about it and experience it, wouldn't want to exert that much control.

Time and again, it is the case that what we value

the most in life seems to sort of happen to the degree that we don't control life.

Hi, hello. Welcome to Mary's Cup of Tea, the Self-Love Podcast for Women, though all self-lovers

are welcome here. I'm Mary. I write and speak about self-love and am best

known for my book, The Gift of Self-Love, and I also host retreats for women. And this is the

podcast that will inspire you to love yourself. I try to refrain from speaking in superlatives

and overusing words like best and only and ever.

But Oliver Berkman, our guest today, is truly the only person to get the best ever productivity advice from.

Why? Because it is rooted. It comes from a place of first cultivating a deep sense of self-acceptance.

At least that's what I receive from his work. And if you're a longtime listener of this podcast,

you know that I've been incessantly telling you about his book, this one specifically.

It's called 4,000 weeks, time management for mortals. And it's essentially about

facing your existential dread to then hopefully liberate yourself to do things that matter the most.

And then his follow-up book to that is called Meditations for Mortals, Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations,

and Make Time for What Counts.

So I freaked, freaked when Oliver agreed to be on this show.

A lot of you who have listened to the other guest episodes probably are like, I don't

think I've ever seen Mary interview a man on her podcast aside from

her husband. And this is true. I mean, but Oliver just gets it. Like he gets it and is going to

...