Processing the Church's Pain: How to Heal, Support, and Stay in Community Together - w/ Therapist Elyse Snipes
Voxology
Voxology
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 20 January 2020
⏱️ 72 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
How can the church move forward with honesty, vulnerability, and healing when leadership fails or fractures arise within the community? Bonnie and Tim open this deeply honest episode with licensed therapist Elise Snipes, entering into what they call both a conversation and a process—a safe space for grief, anger, grace, and renewal. This marks a journey into how we, as the church, respond when our spiritual communities are shaken.
Listeners are guided through a powerful, therapeutic framework designed to help navigate the emotional impact of last week's news surrounding co-host Mike Erre. Elise leads a communal process of separating reactions into three containers—Mike's story, your personal story, and the collective church story—offering clarity, compassion, and direction. If you're carrying feelings of betrayal, anxiety, anger, guilt, or confusion, this episode creates space for you to be exactly where you are while equipping you with language and tools to move toward healing.
Key Takeaways: • The Three Streams of Processing Pain – How to untangle what's yours, what belongs to someone else, and what belongs to the larger community to gain clarity and respond with wisdom. • Shame vs. Conviction in the Church – Understanding the difference between healthy self-awareness and destructive shame that isolates and paralyzes us within Christian culture. • The Church's Martyr Complex and Pastor Pedestal Problem – How systemic pressures, sin management cultures, and purity culture create toxic expectations and unsafe environments. • The Need for Spiritual and Emotional Safety – Why the church needs to become a place where pastors and congregants alike can be human, honest, and held in their process. • Pathways Forward – The importance of rebuilding trust, naming triggers, and forming communities centered around healing, shared responsibility, and hope.
Guest Highlight: Elise Snipes – A licensed marriage and family therapist, creator of the Radical Wellness Collaborative, and host of the Trailercast podcast. Elise brings decades of experience rooted in holistic wellness, and offers Vox listeners a framework for understanding emotional responses, navigating systemic dysfunction, and reclaiming healing in community.
Resources Mentioned: • elisesnipes.com – Learn more about Elise's therapy and coaching work • radicalwellness.co – A collective of therapists, spiritual directors, and coaches available for online support • The Trailercast Podcast – Hosted by Elise, offering wisdom on emotional health and healing • Reach out to Vox at hello@voxpodcast.com to contribute local therapist referrals or join micro-communities
You are not alone in this process. Whether you're grieving, confused, angry, numb, or hopeful, this conversation is for all of us journeying toward restoration and truth. Let's keep rebuilding together. Subscribe, leave a rating, and join the conversation on Instagram or Facebook.
As always, we encourage and welcome discussion as we pursue deeper wholeness together.
Find us and continue the journey: • YouTube: VOXOLOGY TV • Merch Store: Etsy • Website: voxologypodcast.com • Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify • Support us on Patreon • Follow on Instagram: @voxologypodcast | Facebook: VoxologyPodcast • Follow Mike on Twitter: @mikeerre • Music by Timothy John Stafford (@GoneTimothy on social)
We love you, Vox community. Keep leaning in—together.
As always, we encourage and would love discussion as we pursue. Feel free to email in questions to hello@voxpodcast.com, and to engage the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.
We're on YouTube (if you're into that kinda thing): VOXOLOGY TV.
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Follow Mike on Twitter: www.twitter.com/mikeerre
Music in this episode by Timothy John Stafford
Instagram & Twitter: @GoneTimothy
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey everybody, welcome to the Vox podcast. |
| 0:09.9 | Bonnie and Tim are here with a very special guest. |
| 0:13.4 | Bonnie, will you introduce our guest for today? |
| 0:16.1 | Yes, yes, of course. |
| 0:17.6 | Hi, everybody. |
| 0:18.8 | I'm so glad to be back. |
| 0:19.9 | Thank you so much for your kindness and your |
| 0:23.5 | responses from last week's episode. We want you to know we're walking with you and you aren't alone. |
| 0:30.6 | And because of that, it was our joy and honor to bring in my good friend, Elise Snipes. And Elise is a therapist, and she is |
| 0:41.3 | absolutely amazing. She's transformed my life. And so she's here with us today. And we have a |
| 0:46.4 | special episode, and I'm super excited. But Elise, why don't you expand on who you are and what you do? |
| 0:52.0 | Thank you guys for having me. For one. I'm just, I'm, I'm, |
| 0:54.3 | honored to get to be here. Even in the context of this conversation and this setting, |
| 0:59.2 | it is, it's, yeah, it is, it's an honor to get to be in this conversation. So thank you. |
| 1:04.5 | Yeah, thank you. So professionally, yeah, I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, |
| 1:09.0 | and ultimately the way that I like to think about the work that I get to do is I get to kind of just be a safe place for people. |
| 1:14.5 | So whatever and however, the work of their specific story, whatever they're facing, then my hope is to be able to be a safe container and provide some clarity and opportunity for people to have a more efficient way out of that pain and into just, |
| 1:31.2 | can we look at it differently and that perspective shift that might allow us the grace that we |
| 1:37.3 | need to face our story. |
| 1:39.7 | So, yeah. |
| 1:41.3 | That is so good. |
| 1:42.2 | And if people want to find out more about you, where should they go? |
... |
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