Problems with Punishments (Described by a Parent Who Used Them) with Michelle Kenney

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 22 August 2023

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

As a teacher, Michelle Kenney used punishments and rewards to motivate and manage children's behavior in her classroom. Then she became a mom. When her second daughter was born, her first child began exhibiting the typical behavior of an older, displaced child. She talked back, threw tantrums, and at one point became dangerously rough with her little sister. Frustrated and worried, Michelle’s instinct was to discipline her daughter with yelling and punishments, but she soon found that this approach was having the opposite effect and only driving a wedge between them. Introduced by chance to a gentle parenting coach, Michelle was eventually able to see her daughter’s behavior through a more empathetic lens. That changed everything. “It’s such a beautiful thing,” she says, “Having these good, connected relationships… I know they feel safe, and I never felt that way when I was growing up.” Michelle is now a parent coach and shares her experience, inspiration, and knowledge in her new book Unpunished. Michelle's contact information and parenting resources are available at peaceandparentingla.com. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, everyone. Before we begin, I just want to remind you to please check out my new
0:07.6	No Bad Kids Master course. You can find out all about it at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
0:14.5	Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled.
0:21.7	Michelle Kenney, coaches parents who seek more calm and peace at home. And want to move
0:27.9	away from yelling, threats, and punishments into more connection. And as a self-described
0:34.5	former Yeller, recovering perfectionist and reformed control freak, Michelle certainly
0:40.7	understands the problems our punitive methods can cause. And the solutions, and also how
0:47.1	to help others navigate the challenges of transforming their approach as she has done.
0:52.7	I'm delighted to welcome her to share with us today.
0:55.5	Michelle hosts the popular parenting podcast, Peace and Parenting. And she's the author of an
1:01.1	insightful new book, Unpunished. Hi, Michelle. Welcome to Unruffled.
1:09.8	Hi, Janet. Thank you for having me. It's so nice to be here.
1:12.9	It's really nice to meet you this way. You have a book, a new book out called Unpunished.
1:19.2	And is that your first book?
1:20.4	Yep, it's my first book. So often we talk about the how in terms of parenting without punishments,
1:28.3	gentle parenting, respectful parenting, conscious parenting. But we don't often talk as much about
1:35.2	the why. And that's what I wanted to get into because you've had experience where you were
1:41.9	punishing your children, right? Yeah, I was a teacher. And way back when when I became a teacher,
1:49.1	we really learned like to reward and punish our students. And when my kids weren't behaving,
1:55.8	my oldest, especially, I thought, I'll just reward and punish her. And then she'll just whip
1:59.6	into shape. And that didn't work. She was not having it. And so we struggled for a long time
2:05.7	before I finally decided that I needed to change things. Can you talk about how you realized it wasn't
	...

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