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TRASHFUTURE

*PREVIEW* Witless for the Prosecution

TRASHFUTURE

TRASHFUTURE

Comedy

4.7935 Ratings

🗓️ 19 September 2025

⏱️ 10 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The world’s most regular man takes the stand in his own defence and proceeds to… utterly waste the court’s time arguing about pronouns. Also, we talk about the ongoing collapse of civil liberties on both sides of the Atlantic, and consider what it means when the leaders of both major parties in the UK simply seem to not want their jobs very much. Get the whole episode on Patreon here! *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s tour dates here:https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/liveshows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and November (@postoctobrist)

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Also, I wanted to say we are all recording, not in our usual location. It's Riley Nova and Nate.

0:05.6

We are recording from the brand new Charlie Kirk Pub in West London. Yeah, that's why my connection's so

0:11.6

bad. The Charlie Kirk Pub does not pay for good internet. A great place to wet your whistle,

0:16.1

I've heard. So, this is a new development. The pub, which used to be called Biddy Mulligans in Hammersmith.

0:23.3

Yeah, but you should have heard some of the things that Biddy Mulligan said about the Civil Rights Act.

0:27.6

You know, like if anything, she made Charlie Kirk look like a liberal.

0:31.0

Yeah, Biddy Mulligan was very against home rule.

0:34.7

So this is as noted in a press release obtained by Fox News Digital.

0:39.5

So Fox News Digital said their best men on the case.

0:43.0

And they've discovered that the Biddy Mulligans is now called the Trump Arms and has

0:47.2

converted their entertainment lounge.

0:49.1

So I guess like the room where they have the big TV loudly playing sports all the time

0:53.9

into, and I shit you not, the Charlie Kirk Memorial debate room. That's, that's very epic. Thank you. You know, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. And I shouldn't be surprised. It's in West London in the sense that one, one presumes that the owners of said pub in West London are shitheads with too much money

1:11.9

at this point. But I just, who cares? Who fucking care? I'm sorry, I don't want to be like that

1:18.1

right off the bat. Also, not that it's going to save them. I think it's literally like you will do

1:22.4

potentially anything up to an including turning your pub into a gigantic memorial for a murdered podcaster

1:29.5

in order to stave off the fact that it is impossible to run a pub in this country. So I wish

1:35.6

to like Trump Maga Arms every success obviously, but like it's going to go the way of every

1:41.1

other pub in London, which is just, you know, not well.

1:46.4

Yeah, but what I'm going to do is I'm shining my big Humphrey Smith searchlight.

1:52.0

Humphrey, you must come to London.

1:54.2

Yeah, I mean, say this, Humphrey Smith would never stand for this.

...

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