I think Toby Young thinks that if I'm a fancy person, I have to wake up and cue up the

masterpiece theater soundtrack

before I tuck into a breakfast of, you know, some quails eggs and caviar.

When I say, yes, you know, this is clearly what he believes, which is interesting and very

telling and very, very fun.

Mostly, people are just listening to terrible music that's

not techno, which to me is everything that's not techno. I'll close it out. The main benefit of

being cast out of public life is I get to spend more time with my family. Maybe it's because

they're a bit older now, but my main, my main mode of communication

with people I love is banter. Endless Mickey taking. When my kids were five, six, eight, and

ten, this didn't always go down so well. I would end up crossing the line in Caroline's words,

and someone would run out of the room in tears, but now there is no line. Every meal time is a

festival of choristating badinage.

And boy, are they rude to me?

I've never actually eaten coruscating badinage.

What does it taste like?

This really is starting to sound like, actually, it's better when that dude fucks my wife.

I'm sorry, but I mean, it's just...

My kids call me a bald asshole.

I used to try to be really mean to them, but now they just, they do the floss dance and I get

really offended at the table, but it's just banter. We're just a friendly family. We're

just a friendly normal family. I love that everyone hates me. I used to dislike it. I used

...