I'll get the abridged fucking version.

Basically, it was a perfect storm.

I was working security at this punk bar.

And earlier on in the day, they were pre-gaming for a fucking Alice Cooper show

over at like this stadium on the fucking, you know, wherever the fuck.

So everyone's drunk as fuck.

But then my friend fucking strength co-host of board

to life, uh, fucking he was running a goddamn open mic that night. So there was like a four

hour window where it was just like, I don't know, a few sad people like, you know, and like

some open micers doing some open mic shit and then a mountain of goddamn fucking you know drunk

as fuck punks and shit from the goddamn uh fucking alice cooper show came in and i was like all right

there's going to be a fight because either the open micers are going to get mad at the fucking

drunk fucking alice cooper people or the alice cooper people are going to get offended by the fucking open micers.

There's going to be a problem.

That didn't end up being the problem.

The fucking, you know, Alice Cooper people drank, drank, drank, like, sort of engaged with shit.

And then like left.

But then we were left with, you know, a few leftover assholes, blah, blah, blah.

And strength was like closing down the fucking open mic.

And he's like, I don't know, uh, you guys want to talk about anything?

And somebody was like, Constitution.

And he was like, all right, pick an amendment.

...