meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
TRASHFUTURE

*PREVIEW* Trashfuture Presents: Balthasar Speedboat 5

TRASHFUTURE

TRASHFUTURE

Comedy

4.7935 Ratings

🗓️ 18 July 2019

⏱️ 11 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Riley's cousin lives in London and got the absolute worst tinder-date breakup message. It was so bad, so painfully long-form and weird, that we had to convene a session of Balthasar Speedboat to discuss it. So, we brought on Riley, Milo, Olga, Alex Kealy, and Rajiv Karia (@RajivAKaria). Hope you enjoy it! If not, we're breaking up with you (in over 1000 words). Get the full episode here on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/28450760 *LIVE SHOW ALERT* We’ll be performing at the Birmingham Transformed festival on 8th August. Details to come in the next few weeks. If you’re in the West Midlands, come down to Brum for a night of delightful soup jokes. Get tickets here! https://ti.to/birmingham-transformed/birmingham-transformed-2019 *OTHER LIVE SHOW ALERT* Come see Trashfuture live at the Edinburgh Fringe! We’ll perform on August 10th at 21.30. The venue is Venue 277, PQA Venues @Riddle's Court, Edinburgh EH1 2PG. Tickets are £11.50 and there are a ton of discounts available. Get them here: https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/trashfuture-live-at-the-fringe *SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT* Guess who’s going to play live at The World Transformed in Brighton this September? That’s right, your favourite podcast lads. Buy a ticket here: http://theworldtransformed.org If you want to buy one of our recent special-edition phone-cops shirt, shoot us an email at trashfuturepodcast[at]gmail[dot]com and we can post it to you. (£20 for non-patrons, £15 for patrons) Do you want a mug to hold your soup? Perhaps you want one with the Trashfuture logo, which is available here: https://teespring.com/what-if-phone-cops#pid=659&cid=102968&sid=front

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Speaking of step cousins, I'm going to go back to this letter.

0:17.9

All right, let's go.

0:18.8

I hope that makes sense.

0:20.3

Whatever it was we were talking about, oh, so long ago.

0:23.5

Our night was so special.

0:27.8

So I want to be clear that I thought about this a lot, and it was a hard decision to make.

0:34.4

Open parentheses.

0:35.9

And I made it with the part of my brain

0:37.6

that is more logical and less fun

0:39.5

close parentheses period

0:40.9

wow god logic

0:43.3

that's the end of the message

0:44.2

no no it is not

0:46.0

I'm just I'm leaving us to marinate on this paragraph

0:48.9

for a moment I would just like to say it like

0:51.1

really really really

0:53.0

annoys me when after one day someone has like

0:56.6

feels the need to very openly reject the other person it's like breaking up with someone yeah

1:02.0

exactly because it just like it assigns too much interest to your cousin like your cousin at no point

1:06.4

express being like be my boyfriend so being like sorry i can't be your husband. It's just like, what?

1:11.7

It comes from this like old school sexist thing that countless guys have wired in us.

1:16.4

Like, I don't think I got rid of it until I was about 21.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from TRASHFUTURE, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of TRASHFUTURE and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.