4.6 • 851 Ratings
🗓️ 29 July 2021
⏱️ 11 minutes
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0:00.0 | Have you ever considered doing a mass shooting at your workplace? |
0:17.4 | Does this, do these notifications make you feel like doing one? |
0:21.9 | I predict there would be a 5,000% uptake in workplace shootings. |
0:27.4 | We'll tell you what, it would certainly solve the monotonous workday. |
0:32.6 | Yeah. |
0:33.2 | People would certainly be paying attention. |
0:35.5 | Yeah. |
0:36.0 | Look, you've got to look out because you may need to like roll under a desk at any moment. |
0:41.4 | Yeah, that's right. |
0:42.4 | As you perpetrate the mass shooting as you shoot more and more of your coworkers, |
0:47.2 | you get a little, you get like notifications building up on your phone from me going, |
0:51.0 | hey there, it looks like your interpersonal relationship skill is dropping. |
0:56.0 | It looks like Craig took my comment about his foreskin retracting skills a little bit seriously. |
1:01.0 | You might want to get under your desk. |
1:02.7 | Great news. You've made amazing progress on the non-aggressive goals, me too. |
1:08.3 | We're finding you to be very aggressive. |
1:11.3 | If it was Alice, I think it would be a, you have chosen a non-standard gun for your mass shooting. |
1:17.7 | Once there's an active shooter in the workplace, Alice is then replaced with like, it's the same bob, but it has the voice of the drill sergeant. |
1:25.5 | And it's marshalling the other people in the |
1:27.5 | workplace to defend themselves. |
1:29.8 | You will pick up your strapler! |
1:33.4 | And use it to fight Alice. |
... |
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