Hi, my name is Barack Obama, and I feel ambivalent about being a criminal Brian's friend.

I can tell that we are going to be friends.

Hello there and welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. This is not your normal episode.

I just got to be upfront about it. I've had the pleasure of interviewing many terrific guests,

luminaries, stars, but today we will be talking to President Barack Obama.

Oh, you say we. Okay, I should get into this. It's not we.

It's not we. And it couldn't be we. I will be talking could have to.

Yeah, could have just could have. He's president Obama. No, actually, you couldn't have been there.

Either of you because there's something called a secret service background check.

Sonia, do you admit that you've committed some petty thefts that you've admitted to in the past?

Yeah, but it doesn't mean I can't meet a president. Oh, it actually, it actually does.

It has never been caught. You admitted to it on the air. They were aware of that. But the

statute of limitations was up and I would have been allowed to be in the same room as him, I think.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I was quite certain that you wouldn't pass the background check.

I mean, first of all, you've admitted to shoplifting. Yeah. Your shoplifter. I can't

not a shoplifter. I was I was a shoplifter. You were a shoplifter who's never been and you've

never actually gone through the criminal justice system because you evaded capture. So

for those reasons, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? For those reasons, there's nothing

I can do. What did Matt do? Yeah. Well, Matt, apparently you've been involved in other podcasts

other than this one. You know what? And I'm not going to fight that one. Yeah. That's true.

The president wanted to know what kind of podcasts they were, were they mainstream or was it some

kind of niche? Yeah. Communic, you know, bullshittery and the bad news came in. So I couldn't bring you.

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