Powerful Men & Their Terrible Fathers (#351)

Religion on the Mind

Religion, Spirituality, Religion & Spirituality

4.7 • 542 Ratings

🗓️ 22 September 2025

⏱️ 92 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Attention YHP Listeners: Starting in October, the podcast You Have Permission will change its name to Religion on the Mind. This rebrand will come with new artwork and focus more broadly on the overlap of Psychology, Religion & Spirituality. We look forward to telling you more in the coming days… stay tuned! I sit down with previous guest Matt Naylor from the Milkless podcast to explore a disturbing pattern he discovered through a simple Google experiment: searching for public figures known for embracing violence and cruelty, then adding "father" to see what emerges. From Elon Musk to Joe Rogan to JD Vance, the batting average for abuse, abandonment, and alcoholism is striking. We dig into the neuroscience behind early childhood attachment, examining how those first six months of life literally wire our brains for how we perceive safety in the world. Matt shares research on rat mothers who groom their babies differently and how those early experiences shape everything from stress response to longevity—findings that translate directly to human development. We explore the unique roles fathers play in transmitting worldview and values, diving into attachment research that shows father-child relationships are particularly crucial for managing externalizing behaviors like aggression and rule-breaking. The conversation takes a personal turn as Matt reflects on his own family history and his determination to raise daughters who see the world as an enchanted place full of wonder rather than a threatening landscape requiring constant vigilance. The episode weaves together cutting-edge brain science, attachment theory, and deeply personal reflection on what it means to be a father in an increasingly polarized world. Take It Offline Question: What things do you find that you feel in your body about the world that don't line up with the way you wish you felt about the world? Milkless Podcast Child-father attachment and behavior problems (NIH) Christian Century interview with Vern Bengston about fathers and religious transmission to children ___________________________________________ Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/ Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/ Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.com YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98 Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/ Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, everybody. Just a quick note here before we get into a very fun and good episode with Matt.
0:11.1	We are changing the name of this podcast. You Have Permission is going to become religion on the mind.
0:18.1	In October, we will do a short episode where we talk in more detail about what that
0:23.4	name change signifies, but basically it's just a slight broadening of the focus of the show
0:30.6	away from the specific concerns of people coming out of evangelicalism, which was definitely
0:36.7	where we initially started.
0:38.3	And I'm very glad that we started there. That's what I wanted to cover at the time.
0:42.3	And just a broader look at the overlap of psychology and religion and spirituality, just in general.
0:48.3	I'm just interested by all of it, as well as the occasional bringing in of other religions.
0:53.3	And yeah, so you guys will hear some of this become more realized. as well as the occasional bringing in of other religions.
0:59.1	And yeah, so you guys will hear some of this become more realized in the coming months.
1:00.7	I'm really excited about it.
1:02.6	I can't wait to show you the new artwork.
1:05.7	And yeah, and that's basically it.
1:07.1	We'll talk in more detail later.
1:09.9	Enjoy this episode here with Matt.
1:26.6	Welcome back, everybody, to You Have Permission, the show that aims to take both Christianity and the modern world
1:27.5	of science and culture very seriously.
1:29.5	One of the last episodes, while it's still called You Have Permission, if not the last.
1:36.0	I don't have the timing exactly right, but we're on our way, Matt, to Religion on the Mind.
1:40.6	That's going to be the new title.
1:42.4	Oh, wow.
	...

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