It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Bucking hero.

We've all got that silly booker of a mate who comes back from holiday with a phone bill bigger than...

Well, something really big.

Don't be like them.

Be a smart booker with On the Beach to get up to three gigabytes of free data. Stop booking around and visit Onthebeach.com.

Conditions and exclusion supply. Atoll protected. On the beach. It's four minutes after 10 and we have one of our periodical adventures in slightly surreal broadcasting ahead of us for the next three

hours. I don't want to labour this point, but I'm also conscious that you could be tuning in

for the first time today. You could have just turned your radio on. Of course, people don't always

stay with us for the entire three hours. So I will have to explain periodically that

we do not discuss anything general election related, because almost anything we mention,

almost up to and including the weather, almost anything we mentioned could conceivably be construed

as potentially, whether intentionally or not, as potentially influencing how you vote.

And we are categorically not allowed to do that in the broadcast media.

The print media is absolutely free to do whatever it pleases in that field this morning.

But once the polls are open,

we are categorically not allowed to do anything that may influence your vote.

That is why fact fans, trivia fans,

Mystery Hour fans, that is why Mystery Hour exists, actually.

A Thursday in the dim and distant past,

dawned with me, possibly for the first time actually, struggling with the requirement to say nothing about politics and therefore

inventing a feature. I think it was my producer at the time, Maxi, that came up with the idea.

...