One of the most unproductive phrases Tony hears in couples counseling is “I’m just playing Devil’s advocate?” Are you? Or are you trying to poke holes in your partner’s reality? Only the “devil” in this scenario truly knows, but regardless, there’s even a productive way to GET TO the playing of the role of “devil’s advocate” and that is by first creating an environment where you are able to hear your partner, truly hear them, and create an environment where they feel safe, heard, like they can trust you. THEN if you still feel the need to question the floor may in fact be open for questions AND your partner may be in a better position to entertain your questions. Tony also gives the origin of the “Devil’s advocate” (hint, it was an actual position back in olden times!) as well as a few fun facts about Halloween. He also shares his favorite, yet most obnoxious, two-line joke, a holdover from the “Humor in Therapy” episode. In this episode Tony gives an emotionally focused therapy (EFT) refresher from the folks at Goodtherapy.com you can find that here https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/emotionally-focused-therapy (https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/emotionally-focused-therapy) He also shares the history of the term Devil’s Advocate, that can be found here https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/devils-advocate.html (https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/devils-advocate.html) and the ever-classic two-line jokes from the Humor in Therapy episode of the Virtual Couch can be found at the Boredpanda.com site here https://www.boredpanda.com/funniest-two-line-jokes/ (https://www.boredpanda.com/funniest-two-line-jokes/)   Tony Overbay's new book, co-authored with author Joshua Shea (The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd (https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd)) He's A Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions, is now available on Amazon, you can find it here https://amzn.to/2KylIcz And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com (http://pathbackrecovery.com/) And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com/) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.   The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) for 10% off your first month of services.