I'm back. I wasn't here last week, but there were plenty of planks to look at, and now it's time for Talk Radio TV's Plank of the Week.

And I'm delighted to say that we are joined once more by Jeremy Kyle, Talk Radio's drive-time presenter and fantastic colleague that I've got with me every single day.

And Emily Carver, who hasn't been here for a while, welcome back to both of you.

We've got an awful lot to get on with, Jeremy. Where have you been?

Well, I was in America.

Did you have a nice time?

I did have a nice time.

I was finding that there were quite a lot of planks over there as well, though.

Yeah, well, we missed you.

It wasn't the same, seriously. And it says here, I'm so glad that you're back. Thank you very well for saying that. And I am indeed back and I'm not going away again for quite a long time.

Never. But you're going away, aren't you? I am, yeah, on my honeymoon with 11 people.

You hate going away on holiday. It's not the first honeymoon he's been on either, but that's not the same. Ask if we went to America with. Well, never mind that.

With my children.

Yes, by which wife?

Well, I didn't have more than one.

Anyway, that's enough of the personal insults.

And next to now, I think we should...

With best mates, not me.

I think Emily Carver should kick us on.

Who's your first plank, Emily?

Yeah.

Well, we can begin our personal insults of planks. Anyway, I'm going to go first with Nicholas Sturgeon.

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