Welcome to another sparkling edition of Plank of the Week.

And I'm joined this week once again by Alex Phillips,

who is isolating herself down in the West Country in Gloucester,

who is of course famous as one of the many people

who have appeared more than once on Plank of the Week.

Alex, a very good afternoon to you. Welcome.

Good afternoon. Happy to be on.

Yeah, good. And you're joined by another man from

sort of the west of London, I would say, down in Cornwall, Mr. Neil Wallace, who is a tabloid

veteran, a man that I've probably known for more years than I care to remember. Good afternoon, Neil.

Good afternoon. I certainly have known you more years than I care to remember.

It's very true. Well, let's get straight to it, because as ever, there's been a hell of a lot of plankery going on over the course of the last week.

So, Alex, let me ask you who your first nominee is.

Well, rather than an individual, I'm just going to go for quangos in general.

Right.

And basically, well, look, you know, I'm beginning to come around to Dominic Cummings' way of thinking when he basically said Whitehall needs to be set on fire and we need to get some innovators and lunatics in position.

Yes.

Because the response to the coronavirus crisis has been little short of inept, and I can only suggest that basically every single quango that's been involved in this has to take some of the blame.

I mean, for instance, I was just reading the response of Public Health England to a piece by Trevor Kavanaugh and the Sun.

When he was saying there's been so much ineptitude first in the private sector jumping up and saying we can make coronavirus tests.

One company in Southampton has actually started

exporting them to 81 different countries around the world because they haven't got a green light

...