Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Streaming Things
Streaming Things
4.8 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 31 March 2026
⏱️ 101 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The final voyage is here. Kit, Madison, Andy, and Steve close out their Pirates revisit with Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. When ghostly pirate hunter Captain Salazar escapes the Devil’s Triangle, he sets his sights on Jack Sparrow. To survive, Jack teams up with Henry Turner and Carina Smyth to find the Trident of Poseidon - a relic that can break every curse at sea.
00:00:00 - Introduction
00:04:30 - Overall Thoughts
00:33:58 - Scene by Scene Recap
01:35:52 - Pirates Movie Rankings
Video Version of this Episode: YouTube
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, Sevy. You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of. What you have heard of, I? Hello, Poppy. You feel a death. I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means no. You're going to want to know what it tastes like. |
| 0:24.6 | Why is the Ram Gorg? |
| 0:26.6 | You must start believing in ghost stories, Miss Turner. |
| 0:30.1 | You're in one. |
| 0:31.7 | I'm honey with wobbly-legged from South Pirates. |
| 0:39.7 | Welcome back. My name is Kit. My name's Madison. |
| 0:40.9 | I'm Andy. |
| 0:41.3 | And I'm Steve. |
| 0:42.3 | And this is streaming things, streaming Pirates of the Caribbean. |
| 0:47.0 | Deadman Tell No Tales, the final film in our Pirates of the Caribbean series. |
| 0:52.4 | We're going to have a good time here today. |
| 0:53.6 | We have Madison, of course, once again. And Andy getting some flack online. I don't know why I said that like a football announcer. Andy getting flack online for his last play. He fumbled at the one yard line. First down. Andy's. Now that we're posting clips of the show on various social medias and stuff, it's been fun. I like internet hate. No death threats yet. Just look forward to it. Yeah. He's a little disappointed. Yeah. No one solicited dick picks and no death threats, but they're coming, baby. Yeah. Yeah, famously had a hot take about the fourth film, you know, being better than that world's end, |
| 1:29.0 | which we all were very nice about. |
| 1:29.7 | Yeah. |
| 1:33.1 | So he didn't expect the heat that was coming because we all held it in. |
| 1:33.8 | Oh. |
| 1:34.8 | Because you were responding. |
| 1:36.5 | We held it in. |
| 1:39.8 | That video does start funny because Andy's like, I love that. |
| 1:40.8 | And he goes, really? |
| 1:46.1 | I'm so interested to hear what you guys think about this one. Most of those mean comments were actually Madison's partner. |
| 1:52.0 | Tell me out like that. |
... |
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