This is an I-Heart podcast.

Guaranteed human.

Hey, it's me, Jenny Garth, one of your hosts here at I Do Part 2.

We were talking with Dr. Hillary, and there was just so much more that I need to ask her.

So let's jump back into that conversation.

The hardest part for me was the kids of it all.

And just that enormous guilt that I was ruining their lives forever. And just, it was really, really hard for me. And I can remember

the only thing, the only tool that I heard from somebody along the way was I would say to them in those moments when they were showing

me how hurt and upset they were, I wish I had a magic wand and I could wave it and everything

would be okay, but I don't. I love that you said this. So you did have tools that you.

That's a version of what I'm really saying here.

And this is the hard thing as a parent that is part of the decision to divorce or at least had to agree to the divorce is saying to our kids some version of, I can't fix it.

It's the last thing we want to say to our kids, but the best thing to say to our kids. Their reality is that it's not okay. And they don't want to

hear all the ways that it's okay. They want to hear that you get it, that it hurts and that it doesn't

feel better yet. Will it feel better? Yes, absolutely.

It will feel better.

It will feel better tomorrow in a certain way,

in a year in a certain way, in 10 years in a certain way.

It will feel better along the trajectory, along the journey.

We all know adults who are children of divorce,

and they're okay. They find their way, right? But paradoxically,

kids of divorce find their way much more easily if their trauma and their ongoing pain is

...