This episode is brought to you by my friends and patrons at squarespace.com.

King is calm, conquered the world.

But just a few catapults and some horses.

Think what he could have done.

With a brand new website, he could have climbed into the core of the earth and gained access to the main control room

and flown this son of a bitch back home.

In the Tibetan book of the dead, they say that after your soul leaves your body, you go through several levels of existence.

These are known as the Bardo's.

There's the Bardo where you are ripped apart by demons.

There's the Bardo of hungry ghosts where you see these things with long necks trying to eat mountains.

And there's the Bardo of the Shitty Web Designer where your soul will float into this awful stinky

giant living room where there are these moldering couches, three different cat litter boxes that have not been changed in a million years.

And according to the Tibetan book of the dead, these cat turds are actually alive.

And as your soul desperately tries to escape from this apartment, the cat turds scream your sins to you.

The Lord of this realm is an Adderall addict named Chuck Timsley.

And he will take your soul and he will hold your soul against his body which is covered in a thin film of Dorito residue.

And until you guys create a perfect website, you are not allowed to leave this Bardo and achieve human incarnation again.

And this is why when babies are born into this dimension, they are born screaming because they just came from the layer of a pseudo-shit web designer.

And they say on this planet there is nothing worse to get sucked into than the awful gravity of a vampiric web designer.

And this is why we are so grateful for Squarespace.com.

Squarespace, they offer 24-7 support via live chat and email.

I've tried it. It works beautifully.

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