This is the Pete and Sebastian show, with Pete Corrielli and Sebastian Meniskelko.

Pete, it's Jimmy from Boston, Biscuit, you're all Hollywood kid except it.

Be your brother, people got a problem with it, screw him.

At least you never wound up in some little scrapbook like Pete.

It's how the asshole book story should have gone.

Hey Ma, you remember the old neighborhood skin of Jack?

He tried to take a Polaroid to me once.

He wanted me to finger my ass while he rubbed on out.

Don't worry Ma, that was the last time he tried that shit.

Cause I headbutt of them in the fucking chin.

And now when he was down, I boot of them in the mouth.

Yeah, I think I saw one of the perverted fuck teeth and better than I taught my foot.

I made all handsome Jack look like sloths from the goonies.

Now that would have been a proper response, Pete.

That is how you tell that story in the future and that is how that shit should have went down.

It is definitely not.

This guy was so handsome and charming like a young John Ritter.

My only wish now is to have a son and he can follow the legacy and he can wind up in the book too.

That's a fucked up shit and you're a sick bastard for saying so.

But you're right about one thing.

The Hunger Games?

It isn't for kids.

...