Performance Anxiety & Performative Sex

Sex With Emily

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 15 August 2023

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We all experience performance anxiety in bed from time to time. We get in our heads, we worry we’re not hot / good / skilled enough, and sometimes we try to be people we’re not during sex. That’s why today’s episode is about identifying different types of performance anxiety, so that we can show up more confident and relaxed for sex. First I talk through O-blockers: common reasons your orgasm and overall pleasure hit a limit. Next I bring up popular “personas” people adopt in bed, like the cool girl/guy who’s down for whatever (even when you’re actually not) and the super dominant, in-charge lover (even when you’re actually more submissive). Finally, I give you strategies to increase your sexual confidence and take all of your sexual anxiety questions.

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Show Notes:

Prostate Play: The Comprehensive Guide
5 Libido-Boosting Aphrodisiacs to Try In and Out of the Bedroom
VIIA Hemp Co’s High Love Libido Gummies (code EMILY for 15% sitewide + Free CBD Sleep Gummies Sample)
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The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
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Transcript

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0:00.0	Tell me if this sounds familiar.
0:04.8	New partner says to you, I'm super kinky.
0:07.2	What are you into?
0:08.2	And you have no idea how to answer.
0:09.8	Well, this is probably because your brain instinctively wants to say, whatever they're
0:13.7	into.
0:14.7	It's so much easier to just go with the flow or adopt the freaky persona, but I'm telling
0:19.8	you that if it's not coming from a place of total honesty, like you don't really want
0:23.8	to do the thing they're into, that might be setting you up for anxiety-ridden sex.
0:28.7	And it's okay to say, you know what, I'm still figuring out what I'm into.
0:34.0	You're listening to Sex with Emily, I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize
0:38.4	your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex.
0:42.3	Today we're talking about something many of us struggle with, and that's anxiety in
0:46.5	the bedroom.
0:47.5	Specifically, we're talking about the different pressures we might feel to act or perform
0:51.7	in certain ways during sex that don't necessarily give us the most pleasure.
0:55.7	Tune in to find out ways you might be limiting your pleasure potential so that you can be
0:59.6	more authentic and more present in the bedroom.
1:02.5	Please rate and review Sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show, my new articles,
1:06.6	prostate play, that comprehensive guide, and five libido boosting aphrodisiacs to try
1:12.1	in and out of the bedroom.
1:13.7	Are up on sexwithemily.com.
	...

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