Twas a night in November at your pal's Christmas party when an elf arrives.

Oh, with a toffee night latte!

Hey everyone, who wants a Starbucks?

Ooy! Same one for me!

Get the group together for Starbucks festive favorites. It's IRL season.

At a Starbucks, the EU.

A. A. A. A. A. A. A. Stok's last.

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Now let's jump into the first story.

The man who attacked Paul Pelosi last year has testified that it was right-wing conspiracies driven by Gamergate that resulted

in his plot to break into the Pelosi's home and to prove corruption.

You see his plan was simple. He wanted to kidnap Nancy Pelosi,

force her to confess to corruption on camera, and post it on the internet. And he

said he wanted to send a message to members of Congress that there are

consequences for corruption.

It's rather insane if you ask me.

But we're all big fans of the mainstream media, so let me just say,

Paul Pelosi, comma, who was accused of trying to buy drugs from a man in San Francisco in a deal that went wrong, comma, was...

You get the point.

As the media does.

...