PAYAM PAKMANESH | The Rules of Male Conversation
Order of Man
Ryan Michler
4.8 • 9K Ratings
🗓️ 18 November 2025
⏱️ 68 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
For something that we do every single day, and something that has the power to change every aspect of our life, we sure don't focus on, train, or develop it. And, that thing is conversation. Nothing great ever happened in your life without, first, a conversation – no promotions, no jobs, no clients, no dates, nothing.
My guest today, Payam Pakmanesh (known as "The Convo Guy") is here to explain why and, more importantly, how we can build and develop our ability to communicate more effectively. We cover the proper principles of communication, Adlerian Psychology and how it helps you focus on what you can control, the "Zoom Flow" model for deeper connection, how to make yourself more approachable, and becoming aware of how others perceive you.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Conversation as a Life-Changing Tool
01:06 - Why Men Struggle With Communication
02:33 - Nature vs. Nurture in Your Voice
03:18 - How Environment Shapes Language & Identity
04:19 - Film Yourself: The First Breakthrough Exercise
05:30 - Pausing, Filler Words & Leadership Presence
06:55 - Listening Critically to Yourself
07:48 - Buying Time vs. Fear of Silence
09:18 - Authenticity vs. Performance
11:03 - Why Humans Detect Inauthenticity
12:20 - Reading Engagement & Disengagement Cues
13:51 - The Power of Real Listening
15:10 - Faces, Interpretation & Owning Your Identity
16:28 - Getting Out of Your Own Head
17:55 - Fear of Judgement & Perfectionism
18:34 - Social Masks & Status Games
20:32 - Adlerian Psychology & Letting Go of Others' Opinions
21:43 - Book Structure & Thoughts on "Courage to Be Disliked"
22:06 - Biggest Communication Mistakes Men Make
24:25 - Auditing Your Stories & Mental Frameworks
25:19 - Choose Stories that Serve You
27:45 - Tracking Thoughts & Fact-Checking Beliefs
30:18 - Inner Peace as the ROI of Self-Development
31:22 - Misreading Signals from Others
33:44 - Why Hard Conversations Must Be Live
34:50 - Growth Through Discomfort
35:17 - Why Men Avoid Difficult Conversations
37:06 - Nice Guys, Suppressed Emotions & Blowups
38:10 - Joker Example: From Nice to Extreme
40:12 - Standards vs. Expectations
41:14 - Make the Implicit Explicit
42:26 - Experimenting Like a Scientist
43:31 - Everyone Is Human-Even High Status People
44:04 - Scripts vs. Flow in Communication
47:32 - Headphones, Avoidance & Missed Opportunities
48:27 - Disagreement Statements That Build Trust
50:37 - Context Creates Empathy
52:19 - Why Courage Earns Respect
54:01 - The Value of Small Talk
55:48 - The Elevator Test
57:06 - Why Communication Creates Opportunities
58:29 - Movie Character Communication Breakdown
59:55 - How to Work With Payam
Battle Planners: Pick yours up today!
Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto.
For more information on the Iron Council brotherhood.
Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | For something that we do every single day and something that has the power to change, |
| 0:04.4 | every aspect of our lives, we sure don't focus on it. |
| 0:07.6 | We don't train it. |
| 0:08.3 | We don't develop it. |
| 0:09.7 | And that thing is conversation. |
| 0:11.7 | Nothing great ever happened in your life without first a conversation. |
| 0:15.4 | No promotion, no jobs, no clients, no dates, nothing. |
| 0:20.4 | My guest today, Paiam Pakmanesh, known as the Convo |
| 0:23.3 | Guy, is here to explain why, and more importantly, how we can build and develop our ability |
| 0:29.5 | to communicate more effectively. We cover the proper principles of communication, Adlerian |
| 0:36.5 | psychology, and how it helps you focus on what you can control, |
| 0:40.3 | the quote-unquote Zoom flow model for deeper connection, how to make yourself more approachable, |
| 0:46.3 | and becoming aware of how others perceive you. |
| 0:49.3 | You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. |
| 0:52.3 | Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path. |
| 0:55.7 | When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time. |
| 1:00.2 | You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. |
| 1:05.2 | This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become. |
| 1:09.6 | At the end of the day, And after all is said and done, |
| 1:12.6 | you can call yourself a man. |
| 1:15.2 | Gentlemen, what's going on? I am Ryan Mickler. I'm the founder and the host of the Order |
| 1:19.2 | A Man podcast and movement. Welcome here today. Very excited about the lineup of guests that |
... |
Transcript will be available on the free plan in 18 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Ryan Michler, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Ryan Michler and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.