Paul Kerensa - Christmas Special (N87)
Nomad Podcast
Tim Nash
4.7 • 658 Ratings
🗓️ 25 December 2014
⏱️ 8 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Just in case you're suffering withdrawal symptoms from our 12 Days of Christmas series, and are slumped listlessly in front of your now empty mp3 player, we've got one final Christmas treat for you.
We asked standup comedian and BBC comedy scriptwriter, Paul Kerensa, to record a wee Christmas Day message for you... Â
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Nomad, Christmas, mint pies and the sweet savour of mulled wine. |
| 0:16.0 | I speak now from my home and from my heart to you all. These words spoken on the 25th of December |
| 0:24.4 | 1932 by King George V from a small office at Sandringham marked the beginning of a tradition which to |
| 0:30.1 | many has become an integral part of the Yule Tide festivities, the Christmas broadcast. Since that time |
| 0:36.2 | a Christmas day message has been delivered by the monarch |
| 0:38.5 | to the people of the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth almost every year. The only criticism |
| 0:44.3 | levelled at this beloved national institution is that it is, of course, unequivocally boring. For many |
| 0:51.1 | of the Queen's subjects, it serves as no more than an age to their post-Christmas meal snooze. |
| 0:56.4 | We at Nomad don't like boring, so we asked our comedic friend Paul Corenza to write an alternative Christmas message. |
| 1:04.0 | So here is Nomad's Christmas message to the Commonwealth. |
| 1:08.2 | So from Tim and Dave, happy Christmas, and we look forward to seeing you in the new year. |
| 1:21.3 | Hello, I'm Paul Corenza, a comedian and a comedy writer, and I love Christmas. Rudolf |
| 1:29.1 | nipping at your toes, a turkey basted with holly and mistletoe, tiny children wearing Santa beards, |
| 1:35.3 | Ali Jones, Wizard and the Pogs popping around for a Christmas drink, a pudding with a bottle |
| 1:40.1 | of brandy hidden inside covered in pennies, Six geese are laying in the table for Christmas |
| 1:44.7 | dinner, an Advent colander, the two Ronnie's Christmas specials playing on loop on my iPod, |
| 1:50.0 | a tree decorated with pigs in blankets and overcooked sprouts, a stocking containing a satsuma |
| 1:55.3 | on each foot, sleigh bells attached to my neighbour's car as a Christmas surprise. Ah, there's just so much to do with |
| 2:02.1 | Christmas. It's easy to get confused, isn't it? Well, like many, many others, I know I aspire to a |
| 2:07.6 | Christmas that's trimmed back without all of that nonsense. At the heart of it, it's remembrance |
| 2:12.7 | of a boy born with no fanfare and no sleigh bells, born homeless to an exiled family. While the West |
| 2:19.2 | repaints Christmas, the truth is, of course, it's based on almost the polar opposite of Western |
... |
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