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Turtle Time

Patreon Teaser: The Worst Tom Schwartz Moment in Vanderpump Rules History

Turtle Time

Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata

Tv & Film

4.7 • 601 Ratings

šŸ—“ļø 2 February 2026

ā±ļø 9 minutes

šŸ§¾ļø Download transcript

Summary

Amy and Riley discuss Tom Schwartz' despicable treatment of Katie after Randall Emmett's cop prank on Tom Sandoval. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠TikTok⁠ or ⁠Instagram⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

This one's for you tonight.

0:03.6

Okay, let's get started. It's so crazy to me that Tom's dad was here for all this. He had to go to that 80s party. He had to go to his son's birthday on stilts. Then he went to this shitty 80s party at Rocco. Rockos, and then he had to watch his son. He thinks his son got arrested on camera. He's just like never talking. He's always just standing there. And then he has to witness this horrible thing.

0:22.7

The meanest, I mean, it's almost top five

0:26.2

meanest you've ever seen of Vanderpump Rules cast member. Schwartz, Schwartz reveals his hatred

0:33.4

for Katie in this moment and how he possibly talks about her when he's drunk or how he's feeling

0:38.4

about her all the time. Katie is talking about how this was awful. And she's saying, you didn't want

0:45.6

us to react. This is how I feel. That was not fun. And then that's when Shorts is telling her to

0:51.7

shut up. At first, he's just screaming shut up at her

0:55.4

from behind the bar. Even that, Tom Sandoval is trying to just be like, you know, dude, it's a

1:00.6

bad look to scream shut up right now. Like, you know, we're, this is, this is awful. So

1:05.4

Sandoval is trying to shut him up, but Schwartz cannot be stopped for the next 10 minutes.

1:29.2

Yeah, he's like, you're ruining a great moment. Nobody gives a shit about your opinion. And Santa Claus is like, stop, stop. He's like pushing him against the wall. He's like, seriously, shut your fucking mouth. And he goes, I've never been more turned off in my life. That's why I don't have sex with her. And everyone's like, oh, God. It's horrible.

1:35.0

I mean, imagine, you know, I can't even imagine being in the room where two people that are married are talking about themselves like that or the husband is treating his wife like that.

1:38.7

It's just so horrible. He does his mocking voice of It's Not Funny, which is already so rude.

1:43.2

And it just keeps getting worse.

1:44.5

He pretends to barf at the idea.

1:46.6

The fact that he did not only shut up and you're a moron and an idiot, which are horrible,

1:53.2

but then he goes so fucking low to bring their sex life into it, which is definitely

1:58.6

something that they talked about and is a part of their storyline

2:01.5

about their lack of sex. And he basically is putting it on himself, like he is the wielder of

2:07.0

punishments, and he gets so turned off by Katie when she does this kind of shit that he's going

2:11.9

to withhold sex from her for months because of her behavior, which is horrible. Another layer that he added to this. Yeah, he goes, that's another two months. We're not having sex. He's like, so gross. I'm so deeply turned off. And this is where Bo is like, I'm going to have to say no on that. And he goes, I'm not looking for you to agree with me ever. Like, he's basically like, I don't give a fuck what you have to say.

...

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