Hi, this is Groupon. How can I help you? Oh my gosh. Oh, thank God. You're a real person, right?

I've been a hold up for like three and a half hours. I don't have to answer that. This is Groupon. How can I help you? Can I get your email?

Yeah, my email is Disney Slut 174. There's 173 other people who have, okay, Disney, that's not in my business. Disney Slut 174, Hotmail. I was going to say, okay, I was going to be, okay, hotmail, yikes. Right. In which Groupon are we taking a look at today?

So I ordered a Groupon for a massage, but when I got there, the place, like, felt like too clean. Oh, too clean, okay. Yeah, I was like, have people even been here before? It made me kind of feel spooked. So I'd like to return it, please, for a full refund.

Okay, yeah, I just need a little more information. I mean, typically we partner with new businesses to try and get them clientele that will eventually come back.

So it probably was new. Can I ask the nature of you being spooked? Was there a chill in the room? Was there a cold spot?

No, it just looks like super clean.

What I could do is I could refund this to Groupon credit, and you can use that to be different from us.

Did you eat something bad? No. No, no, I don't want a Groupon credit. I want to...

Okay, I'm going to have to have you talk to my manager one second, please.

Hey, this is Gary. How can I help you Groupon? Hi, um, I would like to return. Can I get your email, please?

Yes, Disney slut 174 at hotmail.com.

Oh, okay. Which Groupon I was taking a look at today?

Um, the massage one that I ordered. I showed up to the place, and it felt a little too clean in there.

Okay, I'm going to have to have you talk to my supervisor one second, please.

Hello.

Hi, um, I've been on hold for like a few hours.

My name is Dennis, I am a Groupon Supervisor.

Oh.

How can I help you? Can I have your email?

Yes, Disney slut 174 at hotmail.

Six.

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