meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Hey Riddle Riddle

Patreon Preview #160: The Substitute

Hey Riddle Riddle

Headgum

Improv, Puzzles, Improv Comedy, Leisure, Comedy, Riddles

4.93.4K Ratings

🗓️ 8 April 2022

⏱️ 10 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Listen to the rest at our Patreon!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, hey, hey, class. Hey everyone. Um, uh, calm down. Everyone calm down. Uh, as you can see,

0:12.4

Ms. Penalope is not here today. She unfortunately, I'm so excited to say she got diagnosed with

0:18.6

scoliosis. So we don't know how long she's going to be out. I am Mr. Breedlove. I am your

0:24.2

substitute. Um, and I'm just so excited to be here today with you all. Is there any sort of

0:30.6

morning ritual? Do you? Do you still need the federal allegiance? Ms. Smith's name is Penelope.

0:36.7

Oh my God. She never told us her first name. Oh, no, I've broken the teacher code.

0:42.9

Well, her first name is Penelope. Whoa. Um, well, let's, let's all stand for the question.

0:49.2

I have a question or it's more of a comment about today. Uh, yes. Uh, white kid with red locks.

0:57.5

All right. First of all, uh, I just don't bathe. Uh, it's not, it's not that it's dreadlocks. It's

1:03.4

just that my hair is completely fucked. Come on. Take baths. Okay. Yeah. Ms. Smith was, we were,

1:11.0

today we were supposed to watch a movie. Oh, um, I actually brought the movie. It's in senomad. Oh,

1:17.9

yeah, we're supposed to watch in senomad. We're actually midway through in senomad. So for biology class,

1:24.8

you're watching in senomad. Yeah. I mean, you obviously get how that connects. Uh, well,

1:29.5

because he gets unfrozen, which is a biological process. I think you're all playing a joke on me,

1:35.2

because Penelope said we're supposed to watch a riscac. Penelope. And by the way, you could call me

1:41.6

by my name. I know you haven't taken a role yet, but my name is Draven. Okay. Draven. No,

1:48.8

drive it. Drive it. You're gonna get it. And it's gonna piss me off. Let's do a quick, um,

1:57.4

what was your first name, Steve? Uh, I, I didn't wait. How'd you know my first name was Steve?

2:03.9

I did now. Oh my god. You admit it. I mean, I'm not fuck, not fuck. Forget that I say that. Let's do

2:09.2

a quick roll call here. Um, so first up, we have drive in allergies. Yeah. Uh, press it. Um,

2:17.4

I'm driving allergies. Uh, you may know my dad. Um, I don't, I don't think I do. Zertec.

2:26.9

Your dad is Zertec allergies. My dad is Zertec allergies. Okay. Um, all right. Well,

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Headgum, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Headgum and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.